A World Alone
by tmaslayme
Summary: "Nothing's gonna happen to me." That's what she always said. Turns out it was one big ol' bullshit lie. Because now she's gone, leaving behind her other half to navigate the shit storm of a world alone and confused and angry as hell.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It had been a day like any other so far – boring as hell. After she got cleared for the Chen shooting she figured Lieutenant would let her get right back to working with Art. That hadn't been the case. Instead, he was still apparently weary of her ability to be a good cop and had her riding the desk for the past month. She may have well been the goddamn secretary for the station at this point, it was so bullshit. She only got to help out with cases by doing work inside the station and that didn't really offer much help to anyone.

Obviously, she couldn't just come right out and bitch at Lieutenant Hardcastle for being such a hard ass on her. Instead she had resorted to silent protests and spending as much time away from her desk everyday as possible. Her best way of doing so was through leaving the building altogether and what better reason to do such a thing than lunch? Beth loved food so she got the best of both worlds, plus the tech guy, Raj empathized with her struggle and had taken to joining her every day for her extra-long meals.

Here she was now, returning begrudgingly back to the station. She was sure to find a stack of bullshit paperwork left on her desk to occupy her time for the rest of the day. Hardcastle would no doubt comment on her liberally lengthed breaks but not actually chew her out for it because he knew he was the one responsible for it. Popping a piece of gum in her mouth as she entered, she did a quick survey of the area. She froze mid-step when her eyes landed on Detective Angie DeAngelis' desk. Angie had adopted Hardcastle's view of her ever since the shooting and they had actively been avoiding each other at the station, too professional to actually get into it with each other.

Beth only stood still for a half a second before springing into action. She managed to let out a short groan at Angie being the one she would be getting into a scuffle with in a few moments but she didn't have a choice at this point. The lanky guy sitting opposite Angie was giving her attitude that much was for sure considering the detective looked none too pleased. She was also sporting a nice developing black eye and Beth inwardly smiled.

She pushed passed Angie and knelt in front of the guy, grabbing his chin forcefully between her thumb and forefinger. She forced his gaze to meet her eyes and with gritted teeth spoke, "What the hell did you do?"

"Oi! I told ya I had connections here," he replied, looking at Angie again.

"Beth, what the hell?"

"Yeah, I'm thinking the same thing DeAngelis. What have you got him on?"

The woman shrugged stiffly. "Nothing really. We caught him coming out of the warehouse of a known Pouchy associate so Art and I brought him in to ask some questions."

She was still gripping Felix's chin tightly but all her focus was on Angie now. "So he didn't have any drugs on him?"

"No."

"And does he know anything about the drug ring?"

"Doesn't claim to."

"Then we're done here," Beth stated calmly and pulled Felix up by the collar of his shirt. She fished her car keys out of her pocket and slammed them into his hand. "Go wait in my car and don't even think about taking off."

"That's not really my style is it, Beth? Wrong sibling," he smiled sarcastically. "But while we're on the topic of our woebegone sister, you might wanna help her get out of whatever mess she's in now."

"She's here?"

Felix nodded grimly in response, knowing exactly how his foster sister felt at the news. It was similar to his reaction the day before when he found out. "She got back last night."

"Fuck. Okay just go outside and wait for us there. I'll handle it," she instructed and watched the man strut his way out of the building like he owned the place.

Angie was still standing next to her looking pissed off. "What the hell was that, Childs? You can't just barge in here and let a potential information source walk."

"Yes I can, Angie. He obviously didn't know anything and you weren't letting him exercise his right to fucking leave."

"You don't have a problem with our tactics with other perps."

"Yeah well those other perps aren't my brother, DeAngelis."

"Bullshit, he's not your brother. The guy's fucking British."

Beth rolled her eyes and started off to the interrogation rooms. "Foster brother, Angie. I'm adopted."

So her boring as hell day had suddenly gotten a lot more action packed but in a completely horrendous way. She didn't exactly expect to see her younger foster brother sitting in her division today and definitely did not think her twin sister would magically appear in town again after being gone for ten months. But of course when Sarah comes back from her time away, she has to make an entrance and get herself arrested within hours of being back.

She approached the interrogation rooms and halted when she passed the adjacent observation room. Lieutenant Hardcastle was watching the events in the other room very closely. She took a few steps back and entered the room, taking up a silent position next to him. She took one look at the woman her former partner was grilling with questions and sighed. "Fuck."

"She's not saying a word," her boss muttered with a short chuckle.

Beth wasn't surprised. Sarah had had enough brushes with the law to know to always keep her mouth shut to avoid making things worse for herself. Not to mention she had been telling her sister for years to always stay silent and to call her. The police detective sister would solve the shit storm for her somehow.

"You know, I never knew you had a twin sister, Beth."

She shrugged indifferently. "I like to keep my work and personal life separated, sir."

He nodded in understanding and looked down at her curiously. "So what do you think?"

"About what?"

"Does she have anything to do with the drug ring? You know Art and Angie have been trying to get this bust for months."

Beth shrugged and continued to stare at her twin. "Your guess is as good as mine. I haven't seen my sister in almost a year. Probably just the wrong place at the wrong time though."

"Wrong place, wrong time, with drugs and a wad of cash in her bag?" he asked skeptically. "Well you wanna go in there and get to the bottom of this? Art's doing a fucking brutal job, he hasn't even gotten a name out of her."

Beth chuckled at that and smiled guiltily at the older man. He looked back knowingly, getting the hint that the silence had something to do with her passing on knowledge of the system.

She took a breath as she stood outside the interrogation room. She had no idea what she was walking into with Sarah right now. She hadn't spoken to her sister in ten months. She just disappeared one night without so much as a word or a warning. Sure, there had been signs that she was getting restless but Beth never expected her to leave for so long.

She grabbed the door handle and turned it, forcefully pushing the door open and breezing into the room. Sarah was sitting with her back to the door and didn't even flinch at the quick entrance of another officer.

Art looked up angrily and his face flashed surprised when he saw his former partner standing in front of him. It didn't escape him that the girl he was questioning looked eerily similar to Beth but he didn't read too much into it. He had been working with Beth for a few years and had never heard anything about her having a sister so he chalked it up to being nothing more than a creepy coincidence.

"What have we got?" Beth asked abrasively and walked around the metal table to stand next to Art's sitting form.

In classic Sarah form she refused to make eye contact with her sister after hearing the familiar voice. She kept her eyes on the table in front of her, her fingers fidgeting lightly on it. Beth easily picked up on the restless tendency and shook her head in exasperation already. She wasn't about to play nice with her disappearing act sister.

Art sighed angrily at the question and shrugged in defeat. "I don't fucking know, Childs. She won't even tell me her name. Me and Angie picked her and some other punk up. This one had some coke in her pockets and five thousand cash in her bag. No I.D, obviously."

"Sarah Manning, 28 years old, born March 15, 1984," Beth spoke evenly without letting her eyes stray from her sister.

Art flashed her a look of confusion, brow furrowed deeply. "What? How the hell-"

"Is something fucking funny?" Beth cut him off when she noticed the small smirk playing on Sarah's lips. A light laughter escaping her a moment later.

Sarah looked up for the first time and locked eyes with her twin defiantly. "Just you."

Beth shook her head when she was able to really take in Sarah's appearance. She looked like shit. Sunken eyes and waxy skin are all she needed to see to know that Sarah really was using again. The fact that she had drugs on her person when arrested was enough to tip her off, but Beth so badly wanted to remain naïve for even a minute longer. Unfortunately, seeing the physical indicators were too much to deny the obvious. Sarah was no stranger to drug problems when they were teenagers but she had cleaned her act up a long time ago. _Old habits die hard_, Beth thought with an inward sigh.

"Oh yeah, what about me is funny to you right now?"

"Ah, the cold bitch shite you're tryin' to put on for me. S'cute, really."

Beth turned her back to the woman and chuckled mirthlessly. Why hadn't she known Sarah would pull the arrogant punk character today? She felt her patience already wearing thin and all her anger at her sister over the last ten months came crashing back to her in a single moment.

She whirled back around with fire in her eyes. "WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" The level of emotion had her perfect North American accent falling away for a moment and her English roots seeping through.

The slip seemed to further amuse Sarah and she clapped her hands at it. "Ya know, after all these years even I thought you'd lost your accent. Good to hear the real Beth again."

"Jesus Christ, Sarah. Fine! You want the accent? Is tha' gonna make you start talkin?" she demanded and allowed her natural dialect to come through.

Sarah smirked triumphantly and shrugged, to which Beth knew was her conceding. "Alrigh'. First, where is Vic?"

"Who fuckin cares?" Sarah snorted angrily and glared at her sister for bringing up the unfortunate man in her life. "I hit him first this time, with an ashtray. So he's a little blue."

"Wait!" Art finally interjected and looked back and forth between the two women. "Who the hell is Vic and why do you have a British accent all of a sudden?"

"He's her deadbeat drug dealer boyfriend. And I'm from England, Art. I've always had the accent, I just don't express it."

Art shook his head still obviously confused by the entire interrogation. All he wanted to do was turn the questioning onto Beth, becoming more confused by the entire unfolding situation, but he leaned back in his chair signalling to Beth that she could continue. He figured it would probably be better to observe the apparently siblings' interaction for answers rather than grilling either one of them for more information.

"What were you and Fe doing at that warehouse today?"

"Nothin," Sarah responded dryly and averted her eyes from Beth's once more.

"Sarah."

"Wha?"

"I need you to tell me what you're involved in."

"Nothin! Christ, Beth you know I wouldn't get caught up in that shite!"

"Then why did they find coke in your pockets?" she asked gently. The subject of Sarah and drugs was definitely delicate for their entire family. Especially between the two sisters, considering how much their relationship suffered when Sarah had her first experience with addiction.

"Bloody hell," Sarah muttered to herself. She didn't want to have to explain this shit to Beth, knowing the disappointed look she'd see in her twin's eyes as soon as she confirmed the obvious. "Vic got me using again, tha's why I left. I didn't want you guys to deal with it again, yeah? But things went to shite with me and him so I stole a brick of coke he brought back one day and got the hell outta there. I called Fe because he knows some people and they sent us to this guy today. Said he'd be interested in buyin off us."

"Why'd you have to take it, Sarah?"

"I wanted to start over and it would be quick cash, ya know? It's all I know how to do. I jus' wanted to get Kira back as fast as possible. Fuck Beth I didn't know I was talkin' to some drug lord! He tossed us a few dimes when we left and tha's it."

Beth ran a hand down her face in frustration. She contemplated her sister's story for a moment and tried to really piece it all together. Sarah was a con artist through and through, but she had never been able to fool Beth. It had been such a long time since they last saw each other though, she needed the extra time to make sure she wasn't being played. She eyed Sarah for several moments, watching for the tells that she was bullshitting but found none of them. "Okay. Then we're done."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I believe you, I'll vouch."

Art was still sitting next to her and looked up in shock. "You're joking right? You're just prepared to let her walk because she's supposedly your sister or something? It's not gonna be that easy, Childs. I'm still charging her with possession. She's not going anywhere until the fine's been paid. She doesn't exactly look like the reliable type to let go on a promise to appear."

"Fine. Do what you gotta do, Art. Charge the fine to my credit card," she replied easily.

The dark skinned man was about to continue to fight but the door to the room open and Lieutenant Hardcastle stood in the opening. Beth could just make out DeAngelis standing behind him and rolled her eyes. "We're done here, Detective Bell. Process Miss Manning's paperwork and charge the fine to Beth's card like she asked. She's of no use to this investigation."

Art become stone faced and shook his head angrily at the defeat. He stood abruptly and pushed his way out of the room. Angie tailed behind him immediately. Beth looked at the lieutenant and smiled in thanks at him. He nodded in understanding. "Childs, if you need to take some time off in light of these events, take as long as you need."

"Thank you, sir," she said politely and moved to stand next to Sarah once he had disappeared.

It wasn't lost on either of the sisters that this was their first time alone in a room together in ten months. Beth squeezed Sarah's shoulder softly in a show of love and support. "Let's get out o' here dipshit."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The twins made their way out of the police station quickly after Art finally finished processing all Sarah's paperwork. Both women rolled their eyes countless times at the shocked and confused stares they received from the other cops. It was like they had never seen twin sisters before.

Felix was obediently waiting in Beth's Audi in the side parking lot. He was sitting shotgun but one stern look from Sarah had him huffily moving to the backseat. Beth started the car silently and neither of her siblings bothered to ask where they were headed.

When they arrived in front of Felix's loft shortly after, Beth turned to her foster brother and jerked her head. "Try to stay out of trouble for at least twenty four hours, yeah?"

"No promises, sister," he shrugged unabashedly. He leaned forward between the front seats and planted kisses on the closest cheek of each of his sisters before sliding smoothly out of the car. "Try not to kill each other."

When she noticed Sarah also making a move to leave, Beth smacked the back of the girl's head. "You're not going anywhere."

"Wha? All my shite's in there!"

"I'll have Felix bring it over later. For now, you can borrow some of my clothes."

Sarah snorted at the thought of dressing in Beth's uptight cop's clothes but kept her mouth shut. Any other day she would have commented as such, but she was at least smart enough to realize Beth's patience with her was already very low. She had a few extra things in her backpack still that she had gotten back at the police station. She could make do with those for a little while.

They drove in silence once again and Sarah watched the city pass her by. Ten months was a long time to be gone and yet it seemed like nothing around her had changed at all. The thought oddly disturbed her. She was desperate to know that at least one thing had changed in that time so she cleared her throat in preparation to ask her sister. "So wha's new since I left? How's big dick Paul?"

"Still a dick," Beth commented dryly.

"Not what I was referring to but alrigh," Sarah chuckled lightly and Beth did the same despite her best effort to remain stoic with her sister. "How's Kira? I bet she's gotten so big."

"She has," Beth confirmed with a sigh. "You know I can't let you see her like this, Manning. You've gotta get yourself clean and healthy again before me or Siobhan will let you anywhere near her."

"I know tha, Beth. And I want to do that for Kira. I want a fresh start, I jus need your help getting there."

"I will help you, Sarah. But you have to promise this isn't going to be like last time because I won't go through that bullshit again."

When Sarah was going through withdrawal the first time, to say she was a complete bitch would be an understatement. She started using cocaine when they were in the tenth grade and things had quickly spiralled out of control. Beth had kept her sister's secret at first, not wanting to betray her own twin by telling Siobhan and thinking she would be enough to get Sarah off the drugs. Eventually, things got too out of control and Beth finally revealed to S what was really going on with her sister.

During withdrawal, anyone in the same room as her that refused to provide drugs was immediately the enemy. Sarah would lash out angrily and make them feel like the scum of the earth for doing something that would ultimately heal her. She would yell and scream bloody murder at anyone who even got close to her, often reducing to crying and pleading for a hit shortly after. She was especially vicious to Beth during their encounters because she knew her sister was the one responsible for revealing her addiction. Deep down though she knew she had been out of control and the journey back from rock bottom was hell on their entire family.

"I know, I promise. I wanna be okay again, for Kira."

Beth accepted her sister's words, hearing the raw sincerity in them. She knew the circumstances of Sarah's addiction were completely different now and it was all because of Kira. She means everything to her sister and despite slipping up, every good thing she's done since finding out she was pregnant has been motivated by the little girl's existence. She was by no means a perfect mother, but no one could deny that Sarah would do anything for Kira.

Already, Beth could sense a change in Sarah. The thought of being with Kira again was obviously her twin's motivation to escape the vicious jaws of addiction. It would take some time for her to get back on track and regain her family's trust, but Beth could tell the spark of light that was Kira in Sarah's life would be strong enough to get her through it all.

"So you're going to stay with Paul and I until you can get back on your feet, yeah?"

"Yeah," Sarah affirmed even though she knew her sister wasn't asking her, she was being told how things would be going.

Beth parked her car just around the corner from her front door. She slid out of the driver's seat and listened as Sarah slowly did the same and met her on the sidewalk. Sarah eyed the steps to the home warily but followed her twin up them despite her nerves at what was to come for her in the next days.

"You don't have any coke on you now, right?"

"Nah. Your cop buddies took it all."

"When's the last time you used?" she questioned carefully, needing to know just what to expect when the inevitable withdrawal started.

"This mornin," Sarah replied with a hint of shame in her voice.

Beth sighed, both women aware of the crash to come. She guided Sarah over to the couch and flipped the TV on, not bothering to actually find something to watch. The background noise eased some of the tension from the room as Beth sat down next to her twin with her hands clasped at her chin. "Are you getting hungry? You look like shite, Sar."

Sarah laughed softly at the statement, knowing exactly how true it was. She hadn't seen her reflection much the last ten months, but she caught quite a few glances while at the police station and barely recognized herself. Thin, pale, and unkempt pretty much summed up her look. "Yeah, startin to. Pretty tired, too."

"Yeah, well you know that's typical. Why don't you sleep while I make us some food?"

Sarah nodded in agreement and already began moving so she was laying down on the couch. She situated her head on one of the soft decorative pillows and closed her eyes. Beth flipped the TV back off and remained sitting, watching her sister for a moment in silence. She noticed the goose bumps on Sarah's forearms right away and moved to cover her with the throw blanket next to her. She smiled at Sarah's mumbled thank you and walked over to the kitchen slowly.

She perused her cupboards in search of something to make for them. It was still only mid-afternoon – a little too early to start on dinner but too late to have lunch either. She smiled to herself when she spotted a familiar blue box near the back and pulled it out without a second thought. Putting a pot of water on the stove to boil, Beth took a seat at the island counter and allowed her worry for her sister to consume her for a moment.

She had been living by the motto 'out of sight, out of mind' when it came to Sarah for the last ten months. She couldn't afford to think about her sister often or else the worry and descriptive, horrific scenarios she thought of would consume her. Obviously, the worry was still in the back of her mind but she had been able to suppress it enough to be able to go about her life as normally as possible.

Now though, Sarah was back and every single fear and worry Beth had about her sister was back full force too. It killed her to see Sarah come back to town back on drugs when she had been clean for so long, trying to keep herself straight for Kira. Painful, but unsurprising altogether. Sarah had been balancing on a very fine line for years, Beth had only prayed she wouldn't slip but it hadn't been enough. If she had paid more attention and devoted more time to helping Sarah would things have been different?

It was so easy to put some blame on herself at this point. Their entire lives, she had been the 'good twin' while Sarah was deemed the failure; the disappointment; the low life. She had always hated the comparisons because they only served to put a bitter divide between the sisters during their teenage years. Beth always tried to look out for Sarah and make her better but it only caused her twin to further rebel and feel abandoned by her sister. They had been through so much together through the years and nothing could ever break the bond they shared, but the harsh division between successful high school graduate and low life criminal made it incredibly difficult to maintain a happy, healthy relationship a lot of the time.

When Beth announced she was joining the police academy, things only seemed to get worse in their relationship. Sarah claimed it was a betrayal to the greatest degree and refused to speak to Beth for weeks until Mrs S locked them in their old bedroom together, refusing to let them out until they were on good terms again. Although they resolved their issues with one another at face value, the twins drifted farther apart than they had ever been and really lived their lives separately then. Beth went off to policing school and Sarah amped up her disappearing act, coming in and out of their lives sporadically at best.

To say she was pissed when she found out Sarah had wound up pregnant would be a severe understatement. Beth had always prided herself on being Sarah's biggest support, but also her harshest critic. She knew her sister so well and knew without a doubt that she was so much better than the troubled grifter she had allowed herself to become. She was convinced that adding a baby to the mix would not be a good thing for anybody, but had quickly been shocked to the core to see the immediate shift in Sarah's entire persona when she decided on keeping the baby. Beth had been skeptical at first but fully supported her sister and respected the decision she was making for herself.

After that, the twins slowly began to repair their relationship and became closer again. Sarah needed her entire family's support to help her raise her child and Beth took that responsibility very seriously. She was by Sarah's side throughout the entire pregnancy, even having the honour of being the family member present in the delivery room and cutting the umbilical cord. It was a moment in her life she would never forget. The addition of Kira in the family shifted everything between the sisters in such a fantastic way for both. Beth was so happy to finally see Sarah maturing and getting her life together and Sarah was able to let go of her past to see that her sister only ever just wanted what was best for her.

Although Sarah's restless tendencies still cropped up every so often and caused her to disappear for short periods, she had remained on the straight and narrow since Kira's birth. With the help of Siobhan and Beth she was able to get her high school diploma and support herself and Kira on their own. Beth didn't bother prying into how exactly Sarah was making a living, knowing she had never fully given up her con artist roots. She was still living a shady lifestyle, but as long as she remained a responsible mother and put Kira first then Beth didn't get too involved. Things had been going so well for all of them until a year and a half ago when Sarah met Vic Schmidt and fell off the wagon. Everything went to shit again after that with Sarah disappearing for nearly a year without so much as a word.

The sound of water boiling over out of the pot snapped her from her thoughts. Beth shook her head a couple times to clear her mind and walked over to the stove. She went through the motions of cooking in a relative haze and had two bowls placed on the countertop in no time. As she was moving to the couch to wake up Sarah, she heard the sound of the door unlocking and turned in surprise to see Paul walking through the door.

He was shrugging off his suit jacket before he even managed to close the door behind him. She stared at him in surprised until he looked up and saw her, his face registering the same surprise. "What are you doing home already?"

"What are you?" she replied in the same tone as him.

She watched his figure move further into the room. He noticed the two bowls sitting on the counter and furrowed his brow. "You have company?" he asked, ignoring her counter-question.

"Um yeah, actually," she hesitated slightly and turned to look at the couch. Sarah was clearly stirring at the smell of the hot food and she turned back around to face Paul again.

His eye line was now also focussed on the couch. She watched his eyes widen and brows raise moments later and she knew that Sarah and joined the land of the living again.

"Oi, oi, Paul," the Brit rasped out when she saw him standing in the room.

A smirk spread across his face at the greeting. "Well, well, Sarah Manning," he replied and took a few strides across the room to stand in front of her. He enveloped her in a tight hug and Beth didn't even bother hiding her eye roll.

For some reason ever since they had met, Paul and Sarah had a very easy dynamic between them. Most of the time they acted like immature little kids around each other, loving to bicker and get under each other's skin on purpose. They also had the tendency to throw Beth in the middle of their little arguments and make her referee. She loved them both to no end, but the closeness of their relationship often irritated her completely. She didn't understand how two people with completely opposing personalities, priorities, and interests could be so laidback and friendly with one another.

"So you finally decided to come home, huh?" he questioned when they pulled away from each other.

Sarah flashed a small smile at him and shrugged. "Yeah, guess so."

He seemed to notice that something was off with her and looked back at Beth for answers. "Sarah's gonna be staying with us for a little while, if you don't mind. I can't let her go through withdrawal alone and Felix's flat isn't exactly the best place when trying to stay drug free."

"Yeah of course. You know you're always welcome here, Manning," Paul replied easily and patted her shoulder lightly at the revelation of her addiction. "I'm gonna go take a shower, but save me some of that food."

"Better make it fast, we make no promises," Beth said easily and guided Sarah over to the counter.

She watched her sister's eyes light up at the sight of the food in the bowls. "Tuna casserole?" Sarah chuckled softly. "Man, I haven't had this shite in foreva."

"Me neither. I can't eat it without you."

Sarah frowned at Beth's statement and swallowed thickly. "I'm sorry – for disappearing and all the shit I'm bringin back with me now."

"I don't want your apologies, Sarah. Okay? It sucked for all of us not having you here for so long but you're back now and that's all that matters to me. You don't need to explain yourself either. I'm your twin sister so that basically means I'll always have your back no matter what."

"I love you, ya know?"

"I love you, too, dipshit," Beth replied fondly and ruffled Sarah's hair playfully. "Come on, let's eat before this amazing shit gets cold. We can find a movie to watch and veg out for the rest of the day."

Sarah silently agreed and picked up her food, following Beth back over to the couch she was occupying only minutes before. She ate in silence while watching her sister sift through the channel guide for something to watch. "Beth?"

"Hm?"

"I'm scared."

Beth looked to her sister, quickly swallowing the mouthful of food. She took Sarah's hand in her own and squeezed it tightly. "I know, but you're gonna make it through. I'll be at your side every step of the way, alright?"

"Yeah," Sarah nodded in understanding. She knew Beth was being completely honest with those words. Despite everything the twins had been through, it would always remain true that they'd be at each other's side through thick and thin. They had learned the hard way that they were exponentially better off together than they were apart – both fairly sure they could conquer the world so long as they remained together.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"BETH!" Paul's voice echoed through the house and she cringed at the sound.

She had just arrived back with Felix in tow after getting breakfast for them all, not even fully crossing the threshold inside before hearing the bellow. She gestured to her foster brother to remain in the kitchen while she investigated the yell. The sight she was greeted with when she made it to the doorway of her bedroom had an amused smile spreading across her face and laughter bubbling up her throat before she could stop it.

Paul was sitting on the floor shirtless, clutching the back of his head in pain. He had a thin blanket twisted around his legs uncomfortably. Sarah was curled up peacefully in the bed, wrapped up in the warm duvet and clutching Beth's pillow to her head.

"She just came out of nowhere and pushed me off!" Paul whined and Beth realized he must have hit his head on the bedside table on the way down.

"Okay? What am I supposed to do about it now?"

"Make her move!" he exclaimed childishly and pouted up at her. "I was going to sleep for another half hour before she barreled in here."

"Shut up, both of you," Sarah grumbled. "The bloody couch is lumpy as shit and I'm exhausted."

Paul glared up at her form, still not having moved from the floor. Beth shrugged down at him without sympathy. "Well you're up now and I've got breakfast so suck it up."

The sharp look she gave him was enough to make sure he didn't argue. Paul lifted himself off the floor and made his way out of the room, the wafting smell of breakfast enough to sooth his previous upset. Beth eyed her sister cautiously and circled around the bed so they were facing each other. Sarah's eyes were wide open and she knelt down slowly to lock their gazes.

"There's food out there for you, too," she offered and waited with baited breath to see what kind of response she'd get from Sarah. She knew from firsthand experience that withdrawal from cocaine often resulted in depression and anger. The kind of attitude she'd get from her sister this morning was completely unpredictable.

"I'm not hungry," Sarah responded evenly and closed her eyes, hoping Beth would get the message and leave her alone. She was so goddamn tired she wanted to scream. Just trying to keep her eyes open for half a minute to talk to her sister was excruciating. All she wanted to do was sleep for the rest of her life, but even then she wasn't entirely sure if the weight of exhaustion would lift. After all, she had successfully slept through the night on the shitty pull out couch, only to awake this morning more tired than she was the night before.

"Okay, I'll set a plate aside just in case you are later on," Beth continued and Sarah felt a hand lay on her shoulder gently. She waited for Beth to finish whatever shit she needed to say. "Felix is here to see you. He brought the stuff you had in his flat with him."

Sarah processed the words but didn't bother dignifying them with a response. She'd think Beth could easily see that she wasn't exactly up for a family visit right now.

"Sarah?" Beth questioned when silence met her ears and Sarah's closed eyes didn't even flinch.

"I heard you, Beth!" she grumbled loudly and tossed over to face the opposite direction of her twin. "I don't care! I'm too bloody tired for this shite."

Beth nodded even though her sister wouldn't see it and squeezed her shoulder gently. "Alright, I'll let you sleep then. If you need anything let me know."

Once again, there was no response and Beth moved out of the bedroom quietly. She closed the door behind her and joined Felix and Paul at the kitchen table. They both looked at her with worry in their eyes, Paul's much more masked than her foster brother's.

"She's just really tired," Beth shrugged out an explanation and took a seat at the table. She dragged the bag of food toward her and fished out the bagel she knew was waiting for her. Shoving a piece in her mouth as soon as it was unwrapped, she looked questioningly at both men who still had their eyes on her warily. "What?"

"Are you sure she's just tired?" Paul spoke first.

"Well, no. She's going through cocaine withdrawal, obviously. She's exhausted and depressed because her body and brain are trying to get back to some semblance of normal after being fucked on drugs for the last year."

"Right," Paul muttered and focused back on his food, not wanting to say the wrong thing.

Felix obviously understood the situation a little more intimately than Paul did. He was at least present for Sarah's first go at getting clean, although Mrs S sheltered a lot of it from him because he was only a kid at the time. He knew enough about it from what he saw at the time and what he learned as he got older to know what a stupid question was and to not ask them, especially to Beth.

If there was one thing true about his foster sister, it was that she is incredibly protective of her brother and sister. The limits to which she would go to help him and Sarah and keep them safe were endless. Especially when they were in a vulnerable state like Sarah currently found herself, Beth could get extremely defensive very quickly. Even the slightest thing could set her off into over-protective mode – such as a stupid question from her boyfriend.

For this reason, Felix had found it both ironic and amusing when Beth announced she was going to become a police officer. She had basically dedicated her entire life to looking out for her siblings and now she was volunteering to do it for an entire city of people she had never met. Unlike Sarah, he respected Beth even more when he found out her decision, knowing that she would make an excellent addition to the police force.

Although an amazing cop and highly dedicated to her job, he knew Beth would always be more so to her brother and sister. She would put them before her job and even the law without a second thought if it meant keeping them out of harm's way. Which is why she's willingly taking time off work to take care of her sister in need. There's no one he would trust Sarah's care right now to more than Beth, but it didn't stop him from experiencing a burning urgency to be near Sarah and take care of her as well. It was even stronger now considering he had only been able to sit by helplessly the first time she battled with drugs.

"How was she last night?" he asked risking getting bit by Beth's protectiveness, he was too anxious to find out how Sarah was doing to care. After all, he had grown up with Beth and he could bite her right back if he had to.

Beth looked at her younger brother softly, like she knew exactly what kind of thoughts had just been flying through his head. "Not too bad. She ate like a pig and then crashed while we were watching a movie."

"Just sounds like typical Sarah," Felix joked and Beth laughed softly in agreement. Obviously, both siblings aware that Sarah's behaviour was not her typical self and motivated by a much darker demon that she was in the beginnings of battling out of her body.

The unspoken knowledge had them both quieting down and sinking into their thoughts. Most of them echoing each other's, focused on the well-being of their sister and brainstorming how to make her withdrawal as easy as possible on her.

* * *

><p>"I swear to God Fee, if you wake her up I'll kill you," Beth threatened her brother when he let out a less than quiet laugh at the television.<p>

Felix looked at her apologetically and kept his mouth clamped shut. He figured it was a safe bet that Sarah wouldn't be waking anytime soon but he didn't bother arguing with Beth at the moment.

After breakfast, Paul had announced he was going out for the day to give the three siblings some time alone with each other. Beth and Felix had almost immediately agreed upon settling in Beth's king size bed with Sarah and watching movies together for the day. However, Sarah was dead asleep when they entered the room and knowing how badly her body needed the rest, they decided to not wake her up. Especially considering how difficult it could be for recovering addicts to sleep during withdrawal sometimes, they didn't want to disturb her. So far, aside from turning over every now and then Sarah had practically been sleeping like a dead person.

Beth looked down at her sister after her brother's outburst and frowned at the sight of her body shaking slightly. There were chills going down Sarah's arm and Beth gently moved the covers over her as much as she could. When she saw that her sister's shaking did not die down, she took to rubbing Sarah's back and arms soothingly in hopes of calming the quaking.

She remembered the first time around, the chills were the worst part for Sarah. Beth had asked her about them once after she was clean and her sister's description of the agonizing pain they brought along was enough to make her cringe.

Felix and Beth snapped their necks down to their sister when she emitted a low groan. Felix muted the TV while Beth continued to try to warm her twin up. They watched Sarah blink her eyes open and stare up at both of them.

"Hey sis, how ya feeling?" Felix questioned softly and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder when she sat up in the bed.

"Like shit," she groaned and pulled the blanket up to her chin. She shook her head to herself in defeat and with a cracking voice admitted, "All I wanna do is snort a line righ' now."

They watched the tears well up in their strong sister's eyes. Both siblings could probably list all the instances in which they saw Sarah cry through the years, and seeing it come about once again because of drugs had them aching. They wanted so badly to help her but knew that this was a battle Sarah would have to fight on her own, no matter how much they wanted to carry the weight for her.

"You can fight it, Sar," Beth encouraged throatily. "You've beat this shit before and you can do it again. Focus on Kira."

Sarah nodded and tried to exhale calmly but her breath hitched halfway and she sputtered out the remaining air in her lungs. "I'm so sorry," she confessed and let out a half sob. "I don't deserve either of you guys."

"Bollocks," Felix scoffed and forced Sarah to meet his gaze. "You're the best sister we could ever ask for, alright? If anything we don't deserve you."

"He's right, Sarah. You deserve us and a shit ton more, okay? You've always done anything for Fee and I, no questions asked and this is us doing anything for you. You're not gonna go through this shit alone."

She sniffed as both her siblings wrapped their arms tightly around her. It was a display of love and support, but also their way of blocking the world out; of protecting their unbelievably strong sister from being beat down any further by the world. The gesture was one of solidarity that confirmed Beth's statement for Sarah. She had already known she wasn't going to be alone through the entire ordeal but actually seeing and hearing it in the moment gave her hope that she could come out on the other side still intact. Last time that had not been the case. She had been so adamant on pushing everyone as far away from her as she could that she made it through withdrawal completely shattered, having to pick up the pieces of herself in complete solitude. Sorting her life out after the fact all alone was almost as difficult as the withdrawal itself.

"I'm still sorry. I'm so bloody stupid for getting mixed up in this shite again," she lamented sadly. "I was really doin good, ya know? Then Vic came along and I just wanted so bad to have a little fun for a while. I thought I could handle doin' a line or two, but now I'm here and feel like dyin' so I guess I couldn't."

Beth shook her head and sighed heavily. "Shut up already, dipshit. We don't want to hear your apologies, alright? You made a really shitty choice and now you're paying for it. The only person who you owe an apology to is Kira. This shit is just like anything else the three of us have been through together, understand? We stick by each other no matter what, no questions asked."

Sarah nodded in response. She already knew everything Beth had said, but it helped to have it reinforced. The three of them had always been each other's biggest support system no matter what the circumstances. She knew her siblings would stand by her side through this withdrawal and whatever else was thrown her way but right now she really didn't feel like she deserved it. Getting mixed up with coke again was probably the most fucked up thing she had ever done – and that's saying something – finally returning home to the support of her brother and sister didn't feel right. The remorse and guilt at leaving her entire family behind for so long in favour of drugs made her sick.

Wait, maybe it wasn't the guilt that was making her feel so sick because the churning in her empty stomach felt awfully real as she leapt over Beth's legs and bolted for the bathroom. She heaved into the porcelain bowl, only bile making an appearance up her throat. She realized then that she had spent so much time sleeping that she hadn't eaten since the previous evening and it was now mid-afternoon.

She was vaguely aware of another body flopping onto the floor behind her and rubbing her back in comfort. Her body was too busy convulsing with the force of her gagging to process which of her siblings it actually was. Several minutes passed before the nausea seemed to have passed and she sat back up, seeing that Felix was the one with her. He already had a damp cloth in his hand and wiped the sweat off her forehead, pushing the matted hair back with it as well.

"You okay?" he asked hesitantly, hand still on her back gently.

"Yeah, think so. Caught me off guard s'all," she explained and inhaled deeply to make sure that she really was through with the heaving.

"You should probably eat something, yeah?"

"Yeah," Sarah agreed and moved to stand up. Seeing what she was thinking, Felix got up much faster and quickly had his arm around her waist to help her move slowly to her feet. He dropped a loving kiss on the side of her head as they walked side by side out to the kitchen.

Beth and a newly home Paul were already there. Beth was quickly piling food onto a plate for her sister and setting it down in front of one of the stools at the counter. Paul observed her fragile state and red rimmed eyes carefully. "Alright Manning?"

She shrugged in response and managed to bark out a short laugh. "Feel like shite, man."

"Getting something into your stomach might help a bit," Beth commented and gave her sister a stern look to ingest the food in front of her.

"The first forty eight hours is supposed to be the worst, right?" Paul asked, he had read up more on cocaine withdrawal but still wanted to fact check. "That means you're half way through the toughest part."

"Hopefully," Sarah garbled out between bites of food.

"It's different for everyone," Beth tacked on an explanation. "The worst part usually is the first two or three days but it's still tough even after a couple weeks. We just have to take every day in stride and we'll get through it."

That would be the key to getting Sarah clean – taking the withdrawal process day by day. They each knew that some days would be better than others for her and they'd lean on each other to get through both the good and the bad. As a family unit, Sarah, Beth, and Felix could conquer the world together. Even Paul, despite his shortcomings and issues with all three of them on some days would be an important member of their group. This would be another bump in the road that they'd get through together, just like they had been doing for their entire lives.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_We have a problem._

The words had been echoing in her head for the past twenty fours. Felix had called her the previous evening sounding upset and a little scared, immediately tipping her off that something was wrong. When he uttered that phrase before even offering a greeting, she knew her suspicion was spot on.

_Vic's back in town._

She had expected it to happen at some point and yet her foster brother's statement had her nearly dropping the phone from her hand. Vic wasn't the type of guy who would just accept Sarah's assault on him and theft of a brick of his cocaine. He had too much pride or some shit to just let Sarah go like that, considering he had always treated her like he owned her.

It was no secret to anyone that Vic was disgustingly abusive towards her sister, but Sarah always kept going back for more so there was nothing she could ever really do about the situation. He treated her more like an object; his personal property than he did a human being. The only good decisions Sarah had ever made in regards to Vic were never letting him anywhere near Kira and leaving his ass for good.

He hadn't said anything when they spoke about it on the phone, but Beth was fairly certain that Vic had gotten physical with Felix when he showed up at her brother's flat. It's the type of guy he is, she'd expect nothing less from him at this point. Vic the dick – his nickname stemming from his overall atrocious persona rather than any sort of physical endowment like her siblings' irritating nickname for Paul.

She had wanted to deal with the asshole straightaway when Felix told her, but couldn't leave Sarah alone to her own devices. Yesterday had been the toughest day so far for her. The depression was back full force, even worse since Sarah was still completely exhausted but unable to find sleep. Her mood had been foul to say the least and although she was visibly trying to refrain from taking it out on Beth and Paul, she was unsuccessful a lot of the time.

Despite the rough day yesterday, Sarah had awoken this morning shockingly chipper. She was in the smoother, happier phase of withdrawal now, much to all of their relief. It meant that Sarah was recovering at a good pace and gave Beth some time to leave her sister alone with Paul to take care of the Vic problem.

She found herself walking up the grimy stairwell to Felix's flat, expecting her brother to have done as she asked and lured Vic there already. The large metal door was jarred slightly and she could already make out the asshole's harsh voice demanding to know when Sarah would be arriving. Of course they both knew the only way to summon Vic would be to use Sarah as bait, because if he had known Beth would show up instead there's not a chance he'd appear. Vic hates Beth and Beth hates Vic; a typical relationship for a cop and a drug dealer.

She swung the door open harshly and watched Vic whirl around immediately. He scowled at the sight of her. "Oh fuck this shit," he growled and made his way to her, eyes on the exit the whole time.

"Not so fast asshole," Beth ground out and managed to slam his back against the brick wall before he could plow his way out of the apartment. "Felix told me you were back in town and I thought we should have a little visit. Catch up and all that, you know?"

"Fuck you, bitch," he snarled and tried to shake out of her hold.

Beth smiled condescendingly and kept him pinned tightly to the wall. "You know, I'd prefer if you referred to me as Detective Childs. You do remember that I'm a cop, right?"

Vic grunted in response and Beth smiled sweetly at him. "You better not forget that, alright? I've got more pull in this city than you do and if you ever even think about coming anywhere near my sister again, I'll have you spending a serious amount of time in prison."

"Yeah well your fucking bitch sister stole my shit. I'm not going anywhere until I get it back."

"Did I mention that before I throw you in jail, I'll make sure that all your drug dealing buddies know how tight you are with the cops? That way even if you make it out of jail without get shanked, they'll all be coming after you the second you get out. Are we clear?"

"Whatever. Get the fuck off me," he grumbled and this time Beth didn't fight his pushes to escape from her hold. He ducked out the door in his typical fashion right after and Beth held up her middle finger instead of a wave goodbye.

She turned around to face Felix and offered a reassuring smile. "I think that went well."

"You think he'll leave her alone?" Felix asked skeptically as he shrugged on his jacket.

"If he has any brain cells left he will. He should realize by now that I wasn't kidding around."

Felix nodded in agreement and threw an arm lazily around her shoulders. He guided her gently out of the loft and threw the padlock on the door behind them. "You ready for this dinner?"

Beth groaned and threw her head in aggravation. "Not really. I give it five minutes before S figures out that Sarah's back in town."

"And another five before she's demanding to speak to her about her disappearing," Felix added ruefully.

"I seriously hope we're wrong," Beth said as she hopped into the driver's seat of her car. She heard Felix grunt in response as he flopped into the vehicle as well.

"What are we gonna tell her if she does figure it out?" Felix asked his sister, knowing she had probably already sorted out exactly what they would say.

"Nothing," Beth responded simply and continued driving to her foster mother's in silence.

"Nothing? Genius, Elizabeth. This is S we're talking about, remember? She's not just gonna let us off the hook!"

"And this is also Sarah we're talking about, Fee! She and S already have a shit relationship, anything we say will only make it worse for her. She's our sister and we've always had her back when shit hits the fan, this isn't any different."

Felix sighed knowing that she was right. They wouldn't necessarily lie to their foster mother, but protecting Sarah would have to be their first priority. It was the only way they could act at this point, knowing Siobhan would have no problem dangling Kira's custody over Sarah's head if she found out about the drug use and Vic coming after her. Both women only wanted what was best for Kira, but unfortunately Siobhan often thought through the years that this meant the little girl shouldn't be in the care of her mother. Beth and Felix tended to disagree with that line of thinking and didn't want to provide S any ammunition to keep Sarah away from Kira.

The siblings arrived at their childhood home shortly. Most of the lights were on in the house and they could make out the faint silhouette of Siobhan moving about. "Just try to act like nothing's changed since last week's dinner," Beth suggested after heaving out a deep sigh.

Felix ignored her statement and slid out of the vehicle easily. She met him around at the sidewalk and linked their arms playfully. Knowing it wouldn't be locked, Beth swung the front door open and took a step inside the home. The delicious smell of dinner immediately overcame their senses and both smiled in delight at the thought of the food to come.

The sound of soft but quick footsteps on the stairs had both of them turning their attention forward to see their niece gliding down them. Kira leapt into Beth's arms and hugged her tightly. "Hi Aunt Beth!"

"Hey squirt, how's it going?" she asked happily, always enjoying any sort of interaction with the young girl.

"Good! We got to play with the parachute at school today," she grinned proudly while telling her aunt about the highlight of her day.

Beth gasped in dramatic jealousy at the revelation. "You did! That was always my favourite part of gym class, you know. But my teachers were mean and never let us play with it."

Kira giggled at the scowl that took over Beth's face from the reminiscing. Beth had a knack for always making Kira laugh – usually through her assuming a highly overdramatic persona.

"Oi! Are you gonna give me a hug too or are you just gonna stay attached to Auntie Beth all night," Felix interrupted the pair.

"Sorry Fee, gotta wait your turn. She's my monkey right now," Beth responded and carried the little girl into the den.

Siobhan was waiting there for them when they entered and smiled at her foster children in greeting. "Oi, oi, Mrs S," Felix said and offered her a quick hug.

"Oi, oi. You're just in time, dinner's just finished cooking," she announced.

"Sweet, I'm starving," Beth smiled and gently placed Kira back on the ground. The little girl quickly went over to Felix and hugged him tightly, pleasing him immensely.

"Right, let's eat then!" Felix announced and followed S back into the kitchen.

Beth began following behind them until she felt a small tug on her wrist. She looked down to see Kira looking up at her with wide eyes. "Yeah, Monkey?"

"When's mommy coming?"

Beth sighed and bent down in front of her niece. Kira had asked the question before in Sarah's absence but the way she voiced it this time was different. For some reason it seemed that she knew that Sarah was actually back in town now. "You'll see her soon, I promise."

The sad look Kira gave her at the words nearly had her heart breaking in two. The little girl just looked so sad in that moment; so obviously extremely missing her mother that even the prospect of a few more days of waiting was just more disappointment. She inwardly cursed Sarah for causing such a precious little girl like Kira to ever feel any sort of pain.

Before she could offer any comfort, Siobhan appeared in the doorway with a cocked eyebrow. "Everything alright, loves?"

"Yeah, we're all good here," Beth replied automatically with a smile and ruffled Kira's hair playfully. "Monkey and I were just discussing the mechanics of playing with the parachute at school."

"Well discuss at the dinner table, your food is gonna get cold," she spoke only slightly sternly and disappeared again.

Beth took Kira's hand and squeezed it gently, hoping the gesture would somewhat make the girl feel better. She guided them both into the kitchen and dove into the food and conversation with her family.

* * *

><p>"You know you don't have to babysit me, yeah?" Sarah asked gruffly when she walked out of her temporary bedroom to see Paul sitting on the couch. She was wringing her hair out after just showering, wearing her old London Calling t-shirt and a pair of lacy black panties.<p>

"I'm not," Paul shrugged and continued to focus on the television in front of him.

Sarah scoffed loudly and flopped down onto the couch next to him. She grabbed the pillow next to her and smacked him in the side of the head with it. "Then why did I hear Beth tellin' you not to leave me alone tonight?"

Paul grunted at the force of the object hitting him and grabbed it forcefully from her hands. He placed the pillow on the other side of his body protectively. "Leave my pillow out of it! You may have taken over my bed but you can't have the pillow too."

"Still not over that, eh?" Sarah chucked softly. When Beth had proposed that Paul sleep on the couch for the next little while so Sarah could rest comfortable in a proper bed, he had not been pleased. It only took a slightly raised voice and stern look from her twin to get him to consent but he'd been voicing his displeasure over the whole arrangement since he had agreed. "But back to the babysittin me, wha's it all about?"

"Technically, I'm not babysitting you," Paul once again objected. "Beth asked me not to leave you alone here tonight but since I didn't have any other plans in the first place, I'm actually just having a night in by myself. You just happen to be here too."

"Right," Sarah drawled disbelievingly and looked at the TV for a moment. "I night in playing Mario Kart?"

"Yeah I guess this does look a little pathetic," he admitted and scratched the back of his head in slight embarrassment. "Your sister bought it a while back, claiming it was for when Kira comes over for something age appropriate. After I caught her playing it by herself a few too many times I realized she used Kira to cover for herself."

"And now you're spending your Tuesday night playing a kid's video game?"

"It's fun alright!" he defended himself and scowled at the laughter she responded with.

"Seriously Paul, you don't have to watch me. If you wanna go out I'll be fine here. I've barely had a cravin' all day, I feel good."

"That's good, Sarah. I'm still not going anywhere though. Even if I did want to do something, Beth would chop my balls off if she found out I left you here."

He leaned forward to the coffee table and grabbed the second Wii remote sitting atop it, inserting it into the steering wheel component and handed it to her. "Since we're stuck with each other for the evening you might as well play too. I'll even pay for pizza."

"Yeah? 'Cause I'm starvin'."

"Yeah," he chuckled and grabbed his cell phone, quickly dialing a pizza joint and ordering food for them. He made sure to get enough for the two of them plus Beth because even though she was getting a nice home cooked meal from S, the girl loved pizza too much to ever pass it up. He'd probably be a dead man if she came home to find their pizza boxes completely empty with none saved for her. "First things first though, you've gotta put some clothes on."

"Wha?" Sarah balked in confusion. "I'm wearin' clothes ya idiot."

He spared a glance at her ensemble and shook his head. "Put some pants on Sarah, Jesus. You can't just walk around in front of your sister's boyfriend in your underwear!"

"Why not? It's nothing you haven't seen before," she shrugged not seeing a problem with her choice of clothing. She just took a shower and wouldn't be going anywhere for the rest of the night, what's wrong with wearing your sleepwear around the house then? "

He bulged his eyes at her response. "What?"

"Oi! You're sleepin' with my twin sister, yeah? Pretty sure that means you've seen me naked too then."

"I don't think it works that way, Manning. Besides, Beth and I don't exactly-"

"Have a lot of sex, yeah I know," she interrupted with a snort. "Which makes me wonder why you two are even together."

"When did this become a relationship therapy session?" he mused defensively, not wanting at all to talk about his relationship with Beth to her twin sister.

Sarah threw up her hands in defense and laughed lightly. "Relax man. I'm gonna go put on some clothes to make you feel better, ya sissy."

* * *

><p>"So are you going to tell me what's going on?" Siobhan asked Beth as they sat across from each other at the table.<p>

They had finished dinner shortly before and Felix and Kira had navigated their way over to the piano while S and Beth had a cup of tea. Beth glanced curiously at her foster mother over the rim of her mug. "Hmm?"

"Sarah's back in town? I heard you and Kira talking earlier."

Beth ran a hand through her hair and shrugged. "Yeah, she's in town. She got back a few days ago."

"A few days and I haven't heard a word from her?" Siobhan asked suspiciously. She had expected Sarah to come barging through her front door for Kira the second she came back.

"She's been staying with Paul and I, trying to get her shit together before she calls you I guess."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We both know she's gonna come for Kira, S. I'd assume she wants to get her life on as stable ground as she can before she does that. I'm just giving her a place to crash until then."

Siobhan narrowed her eyes at Beth, examining her. "Elizabeth."

"Oh God, here we go," Beth groaned and threw her head back in frustration.

"If there's something more going on you need to tell me – for Kira's sake."

"There's nothing, S! If I thought Sarah was going to fuck with Kira then I wouldn't be helping her get back on her feet."

"I know she's your sister, but you're not responsible for her," Siobhan sighed and patted her foster daughter's hand gently. "You've been through too much the past few months to be dealing with Sarah's antics."

Beth bristled at the statement that left the older woman's mouth. She hated when anyone brought up her work bullshit over the last while. She had made it very clear that she didn't want to hear any more on the subject from her family. She could handle it all without their input. They tried to act like they understood what was going through her head or how she was feeling but they didn't, none of them even came close to understanding. Ironically, the one person in the world who might actually be able to make sense of her mindset was Sarah – the person who Siobhan believed to be a burden in her life at the moment.

"I think I can be the judge of that," Beth spat out harshly. She noticed Siobhan immediately back off that particular topic.

"I just want what's best for you," she said softly and offered a comforting smile.

"And what about Sarah?" Beth demanded, still feeling that anger under her skin.

"What about Sarah?"

"Do you want what's best for her, too?"

"Of course, love. I want that for all three of you," she spoke sincerely and Beth had a hard time not believing the woman's words.

"Then cut her some slack when you do finally see her again. She's trying really hard to get her life together and be the mother you always expected her to be," the finality in her voice indicated that she didn't want to hear anything else on the matter.

She would defend Sarah until the day she dies but Siobhan always expected too much of Sarah. The standards were always much too high for Sarah to meet so she was deemed a failure; a disappointment; an unfit mother over and over and over again. She was determined for things to be different this time though. Sarah deserved another chance at really being Kira's mother – without Siobhan's critical eye watching every move, waiting for the failure to come.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Beth tiptoed through the dark room as quietly as she could. Sarah was still sleeping and she wanted to keep it that way until the last possible second. She was anxious, that much was obvious to her but she fought the urge to reach into her medicine cabinet for the little pill she knew would calm her head space.

After taking nearly two weeks off work to help Sarah through withdrawal, she figured it was about time to return to the station. Even though she'd just be riding the desk, she couldn't stay away from the place forever. She was worried about Sarah though, afraid that her sister wouldn't be able to handle being left to her own devices all day. Her mind was already in overdrive thinking up all the possible shit scenarios of the trouble her sister could get in. Her worst fear being a relapse – two weeks wasn't damn well long enough to ensure Sarah could fight the cravings she would surely experience.

She turned to wake her sister up before she left and noticed that Sarah was already wide awake and looking at her strangely.

"Was wonderin' how long you were just gonna stand there," she commented, the sleep still evident in her voice.

Beth shrugged off the observation and smiled down worriedly at her twin. "I'm leaving for work now."

Sarah nodded silently and sat up a little further, sensing Beth had more to say.

"Paul's already gone for the day too, so it's just you today. If you need anything though I left my work number on the fridge. Call me if you need anything, and I mean anything, Sar," she said sternly.

"Yeah, okay I will," Sarah agreed more to placate her sister than anything.

"If you have a craving and feel like you can't handle it you need to get in touch with me right away and I'll come home, okay? Also, do me a favour and just stay here for the day. There's plenty of food and you can watch movies or whatever, just don't leave the apartment."

"I won't okay, promise," Sarah reassured her, she felt guilty over the amount of worry she could see radiating through Beth's features.

As usual, Beth put the weight of everyone else's problems on her shoulders. Between her, Felix, and Sarah, Beth had always obviously been the responsible one and felt like it was her duty to carry Felix and Sarah through their troubled times. Although they were eternally grateful to their sister for her care and sacrifices, sometimes they wished that she would just leave them to deal with their shit alone. She worked herself far too hard for them sometimes and it was moments like this when Sarah realized how close her sister pushes herself to the edge for them.

"Okay," Beth nodded to herself. "I'm going then. I'll see you later, love you."

"Yeah, love you too," Sarah grumbled as she flopped back against the pillows, ready to get at least a couple more hours of sleep.

Beth was out the door moments later, forcing herself to focus on the drive to work the entire trip to stop herself from turning around. To her surprise the drive went quite quickly and before she knew it she was walking through the familiar doors of the police station. Before she even had time to register what was happening, Lieutenant Hardcastle was standing in front of her.

"Childs, in my office," he spoke gruffly and brushed passed her again, disappearing moments later through his office door.

She returned a smile and quick wave to Raj as she made her way across the room to her boss' office. She walked through without knocking, knowing he was expecting her to follow him in there anyway. Art was already sitting in one of the chairs in front of the desk. He turned to see her enter and nodded stoically to which she returned the gesture.

"Have a seat, Beth," Hardcastle said and she stiffly dropped into the only remained chair in the room next to Art.

She looked half curious and half apprehensively at the older man across from her, having no idea what he wanted to talk to her about in her first minute back.

"How's your sister doing?" he asked casually, not caring that she was obviously confused over their meeting.

"Uh, she's doing better. Still recovering but seems to be getting better every day."

"Good. It's obvious that you care a great deal about her."

"Well yeah, Sir. She's my twin sister," Beth replied dumbly and furrowed her brow slightly at the path of their conversation. If he just wanted to talk about Sarah why was Art sitting with them?

"Still, that kind of loyalty can be hard to come by," he mused more so to himself than the other two. "How long have you been on desk duty, Childs?"

"A month and half now, Sir."

Hardcastle opened the top drawer of his desk and placed Beth's gun and holster on top. "You're done with it now, Childs. You're a good cop, we need you back on active duty."

Beth grinned widely and promptly stood up to shake his hand. "Thank you, Sir."

"No need to thank me. Art, Angie's gonna handle the Pouchy case solo from now on. You and Beth are back together and I want you two on the shooting in the west end from last night."

"Yes Sir," Art replied gruffly and followed Beth out of the office after she grabbed her weapon.

The partners stood next to each other outside the office, Beth practically overcome with happiness at being reinstated. She noticed Art looking at her strangely and smacked his bicep. "What?"

"Just still can't believe you have a twin you never told me about," he shrugged angrily. "I thought we were closer than that."

"Oh come off it, dipshit," she scoffed and smacked him again, harder this time. "Don't be such a drama queen, yeah? It's not like I know every detail of your life outside this place either. There's never been any reason for me to mention my brother and sister."

"Yeah, whatever," he grumbled. "You ready to finally hit the streets again?"

"I've been waiting forever for this," she said, easily shrugging on her holster and securing her gun in it. "Let's roll out man."

She was chomping at the bit to finally get back on a case and do some worthwhile police work. All of a sudden the day was looking up and she was thankful she resisted the urge to pop a few pills this morning. The only high she needed was the one she got from working a good case. It could take her mind off worrying about Sarah too, which would be a relief for both twins.

* * *

><p>So far, so good. She had stayed in the house like Beth asked her, bored out of her bloody mind but still obedient. She had taken Beth's suggestions and ran with them, planting herself on the couch as soon as she woke up with as much food as she could find and a pile of DVDs.<p>

Now, early afternoon she was starting to get restless. It wasn't in her nature to just sit around for so long doing nothing. Okay – scratch that; it wasn't her nature to do such a thing alone. Anyone who knows her would say she's about the laziest person on the planet. But being a recovering addict didn't exactly have her warm and fuzzy at the idea of being home alone with nothing to do. It's the quickest and easiest way for the mind to start to wander to other things, things that she needed to stay far away from for good.

Her strategy for warding off such thoughts? Junk food. She figured it wouldn't really matter if she shoveled the shit into her because doing coke had made her way too thin anyway, this would help balance her out again. Unfortunately for her, Beth was some fitness freak and didn't keep much junky options for her to eat. Her bag of chips was running low and she didn't know what would happen after that, an apple just didn't feel like it could compete against the temptation for drugs.

Sighing softly, she paused the movie and stood up. There was a convenience store only a couple blocks from the apartment, she could get there and back in fifteen minutes. She's in a good neighbourhood in the middle of the day, not like cocaine is going to just pop up in front of her during the trip. Beth wouldn't even have to know she left.

Sarah slipped on her shoes and shrugged on a sweater to protect her from the crisp late fall air. She noticed that her sister had left a twenty dollar bill on the counter, probably if she decided to order food for herself throughout the day. _Bloody trusting_, Sarah thought wryly. Beth hadn't been shy in her precaution taking with Sarah's withdrawal. Leaving a twenty laying out that she could easily use to buy some coke was awfully careless considering the measures she had previously taken to make sure Sarah kept clean.

Whatever, it made her task a hell of a lot easier now. She threw her hood up over her messy waves and swung the front door open. She made it only a few steps down the stairs when a harsh voice rang out and had her freezing mid stride.

"Going somewhere?"

Sarah looked to her right and saw Mrs S standing on the sidewalk looking angrily up at her. _Fuck._

"Back inside, right now. You and I have some things to discuss."

Sarah grunted to herself but turned around anyway, figuring it was probably not the best idea to give her foster mother a mouth load of attitude after ten months of estrangement. She heard Siobhan following closely behind her and gritted her teeth at the sound of the front door slamming shut.

She stood rigid, waiting for the attack to start. Instead though, Siobhan remained silent across from her, eyes sweeping in an appraisal over her form.

"Well, now I know what Elizabeth was trying to keep from me," she scoffed bitterly and shook her head in disgust.

"Wha's that?" Sarah questioned gruffly.

"Oh don't play stupid, Sarah. How long with the drugs again, huh?"

Sarah cringed at being caught so easily. She had been hoping against all hopes that someway, somehow Siobhan would never find out she had turned back to coke. It would only make her quest to get Kira back even more impossible. She would be so thick in the clutches of S now that she wasn't sure if she had any hope of even seeing her daughter again.

"I asked you a question, Sarah."

"Since I bloody left, alright? Why the hell do you think I went?" she responded angrily, already sick of the judgmental look radiating from her foster mother.

"Unbelievable. How could you do that to Kira, to yourself? When the hell are you going to grow up and start being the mother she deserves?"

"I'm back aren't I, Siobhan? I'm gettin' clean, Beth and Fee are helping make sure I'm good."

"It is not your brother and sister's responsible to make sure you stay off drugs. You'd think after all the shit you put us through the first time around you'd have the good sense to stay far away from that lifestyle," she clucked with disapproval.

"I made a mistake, Siobhan! Bloody Christ, I'm sorry we're not all as fuckin' perfect as you are. I slipped up so I left because I didn't want Kira to watch me fall off the wagon," she yelled back angrily, a part of her desperately wanting S to see her vulnerability for a moment.

"You should have never been in a situation where you could make a mistake like that," Siobhan didn't budge.

Sarah threw her head back in a combination of downright irritation and exhaustion. She wasn't sure why she was even bothering to offer some semblance of an explanation to the older woman because it would never be accepted or understood. S believed what she believed and there would be no way Sarah could get her to see things differently. The second she failed to pick Kira up ten months ago was when Siobhan started forming her opinions of the situation and punishing Sarah.

No doubt she would try to continue her punishment full force now that Sarah was actually back in town. It didn't matter that the woman probably took every chance she got to make digs about Sarah's parenting in front of Kira – for Siobhan Sadler there was no greater pleasure than making Sarah's life as horrible as possible. At least, that's the way she's always seen it. Beth had defended their foster mother's actions many times over the years but Sarah would never accept the explanations.

"Whatever. I don't even know why I bother with you," Sarah grumbled and turned her back to the older woman, hoping to gain some semblance of control over her shaking body. Her anger was becoming overwhelming and she knew she needed to do everything possible to keep from exploding.

"Oh that's rich, love. Why you bother with me? I think you've got it the wrong way. For years I've been trying to get you on the right path and every time I turn around you've gotten into a bigger shit storm than the last!"

"Yeah, yeah I know. Why can't I be more like Beth, right? How many bloody times have I heard that one in my life?"

"I just wish you could see the damage you're doing to yourself and everyone else," Siobhan said, her voice laced with sadness that made Sarah want to gag. It was all some bullshit fake motherly care act.

"I'M BLOODY WELL TRYING TO FIX IT, SIOBHAN. Jesus Christ, that's what I'm tryin to tell you. I'm getting my shit together – for Kira."

S didn't seem at all phased by Sarah's dramatic voice raise and remained stock still. "You will not be going anywhere near Kira until I deem you fit. And there's no saying that such a time will ever come."

"Oh, piss off. You can't keep my own daughter from me."

"I can and I will. I've been her legal guardian since you disappeared and it will remain that way."

"Oh yeah? 'Cuz it's best for Kira?"

"Yes."

"Bullshit," Sarah balked in outrage. "You won't keep me away from her. You wouldn't do that to her."

"No," Siobhan agreed, "but I'd do it to, love. Clean up your act for good and we'll talk about you seeing Kira again. Until then, you will have no contact," she explained and her tone of voice made it clear the decision would stick.

The finality of the comment had them both realizing the conversation was finished. Siobhan offered Sarah a smile, full of taunt and triumph as interpreted by the punk. She made her way out of the apartment without another word.

Sarah stood eerily still in the moments after the door closed. The apartment was silent but she didn't notice – everything inside of her was screaming so blindly that she was sure her eardrums would burst. The onslaught of emotions was practically unbearable and the only ones she could actually identify in the moment were horrendous anger at her foster mother and sickening depression at the thought of being kept from her daughter.

She had known that retaliation would come from S, it was practically the textbook way to punish Sarah. She had anticipated it with all the same coldness it was delivered and still she was left feeling like she had been hit by a truck – completely blindsided by the sheer force the entire exchange hit her with.

She needed Kira. Kira needed her. Didn't S understand that she would never truly get better until she was reunited with her precious daughter? Kira is the one ray of light left in her life, the one person in the world that made her whole again. Not being able to see her? Well then her life didn't even have a purpose.

She ran a desperate hand through her wild locks and began pacing back and forth, a wild animal trapped inside the cage-like pristine apartment. There were a few dishes on the counter, leftover from earlier in the day. With one harsh motion, she swept them all off the surface and listened to the porcelain shatter against the nearby wall. The commotion had several family photos clambering off their hooks and into the mess of shards.

Breathing heavily, Sarah observed the mess she had made in only a fraction of a second. She could easily recognize herself in it. All the sharp, broken pieces resembled the shambles of her life. It was all too much. She needed a fix and she needed it now. It was the only thing that could help her catch her breath and stop her racing mind at this point. She reached blindly for the phone on the coffee table and hurriedly punched in the numbers she had memorized. She had a craving and there was one person she knew that could help fix that problem.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

She was officially exhausted. The last week had been a whirlwind of drama and now she was expected to actually be productive on the job like everything was fine. Everything was not fine though. At this point, she couldn't even remember the last time when things were even remotely close to fine.

_Breathing heavily, Sarah observed the mess she had made in only a fraction of a second. She could easily recognize herself in it. All the sharp, broken pieces resembled the shambles of her life. It was all too much. She needed a fix and she needed it now. It was the only thing that could help her catch her breath and stop her racing mind at this point. She reached blindly for the phone on the coffee table and hurriedly punched in the numbers she had memorized. She had a craving and there was one person she knew that could help fix that problem._

_She continued to pace as the dialling began in her ear, waiting impatiently for the line to connect. A click sounded, letting her know that the other person had finally picked up their bloody end._

_"Hey, what's up?"_

_"Beth," Sarah croaked out hoarsely, only then did she realize that tears had begun pooling in her eyes. The lump in her throat made it difficult to get even the single syllable out._

_Across town at an active crime scene, Beth's entire body tensed upon hearing her sister's tone. All the background noise and commotion around her faded in that moment. "What's wrong?"_

_"I need you to come."_

_"Okay, yeah," Beth nodded more to herself than anything else. She noticed Art looking at her strangely and turned her back. "Can you tell me what's going on?"_

_"Siobhan fuckin' stopped by is wha's going on!" Sarah practically screamed out, her accent growing thicker as she became more agitated._

_"Jesus Christ," Beth groaned out and ran a hand through her hair in frustration._

_Obviously any sort of confrontation between Sarah and Siobhan at this point would only be a complete blow out. The fact that Sarah was actually calling her in the middle of the day nearly in tears was enough to let her know that things had not gone well at all. Her sister was never much of a crier so whatever S said to her must have been serious as hell._

_"You gotta come, Beth. I-I don't wanna mess up," Sarah stuttered and Beth swore her heart broke in two at the sound and the words._

_"I'm coming, Sarah, I promise. Just, don't go anywhere, okay? Stay inside and I'll be there as soon as I can."_

_"Yeah," she heard Sarah respond quietly before the line went dead._

_Beth turned back around to see that Art was still glancing at her curiously. "Something wrong?"_

_"Yeah, actually," she nodded tensely. "I've gotta get out of here. Sorry to bail on you, but family emergency."_

_"Right," Art drawled with clear confusion in his voice._

_"What?"_

_"Just, in all the years we've been partnered together I don't think you've ever once put your personal life before the job. This job is your life."_

_"Yeah well, my sister needs me right now. My family's always come before the job Art, I just never had to prioritize them like this."_

_He chuckled softly and began ushering her toward the nearby parked car. "I feel like I'm getting to know a whole new side of you. All this family loving shit is so unlike the Beth I've known."_

_"Whatever man, doesn't mean I'm going soft on you," she grumbled but the smile remained on her face as she hopped in the passenger seat. "Just drop me off at my place."_

_"Sure thing," he complied and drove silently to their destination._

_Beth sat with her lip tucked anxiously between her teeth. All she could do was hope that Sarah could remain strong for just a few more minutes until she got there. She would pray but she never really was one for religion and there was no point starting now. Asking some big dude up in the sky to keep her sister from snorting blow didn't seem like it would prove to be very effective._

_She noticed Art glancing at her every so often but couldn't find the sarcasm in her to make a comment at the moment. All her energy was focussed on her apartment and somehow trying to get Sarah to keep clean. She had only been clean for a couple weeks now but she'd been doing so well, a relapse isn't something either of them could handle._

_So caught up in her thoughts, Beth didn't even realize they had made it to her neighbourhood until the car came to a halt outside her apartment. "Thanks for the ride. Cover for me back at the station?" she asked as she opened the car door._

_"Of course," Art confirmed and it was all she needed to remove herself completely from the vehicle and walk quickly into the home._

_She found Sarah hunched over on the couch, cradling her head in her hands. Beth at down gingerly next to her and squeezed her sister's shoulder softly. "Hey, Manning."_

_Sarah took several deep breaths in and lifted her head. The tear stains were still evident on her face but she didn't appear to be crying anymore. She looked at Beth brokenly and let out a strangled, "Hey."_

_"Alright?"_

_"Better now," Sarah nodded. "I'm sorry for callin' your first day back."_

_"Hey, no. Don't apologize. Your health comes first so I'm glad you did call instead of trying to deal with this shit alone."_

_Sarah smiled slightly and nodded in understanding. She remained silently playing with her fingers in her lap. Beth's worried gaze didn't waiver as she began rubbing soothing circles on Sarah's back. "What happened, Sar?"_

_"Me and S kind of got into it," she shrugged in frustration. "She told me she isn't gonna let me see Kira."_

_Beth tensed and fought the urge to call her foster mother and give her a serious piece of her mind. Of course she knew the older woman stopped by in the middle of the day because she would catch Sarah without anyone else around. That was enough to have her pissed off. Add to the fact that Siobhan was now dangling an eight year old little girl's custody in front of a recovering addict's face – it had Beth practically steaming. It felt like Siobhan deliberately set up the entire conversation, knowing exactly what effect it would have on Sarah and what it would drive her towards. She had always recognized the strain in the relationship between Sarah and S but she never thought her foster mother behave so vindictively toward her sister. Despite all the drama over the years, Sarah was still a daughter Siobhan loved._

_"I'm not gonna let that happen," Beth vowed to her sister quietly._

_"Yeah? I dunno how you're gonna pull that off, Childs. S knows that I got back on drugs and she doesn't want me anywhere near Kira."_

_"You trust me?"_

_Sarah looked at her sister quizzically but nodded in affirmation anyway. There wasn't anyone on the planet she trusted more than Beth._

_"Then believe me when I tell you that I'm not gonna let that happen, okay? You're already doing so much better than you were when you first got back. I don't think you being around Kira will be harmful to her at all. Actually, I think it'd be good for both of you."_

_"I miss her so much," Sarah said dejectedly._

_"I know you do," Beth agreed. "You'll see her soon, I promise."_

_Sarah nodded, accepting her sister's words. She returned to focussing on her breathing – deep inhale, hold it for a few seconds, deep exhale. The more she did it, the more she felt her craving slipping further away. It still lingered, but it felt manageable. She could get past it if she focused and had her sister close by. Like a security blanket, Beth's presence just seemed to make everything feel safer for her._

She had sat on that couch with Sarah in near silence for hours that afternoon. Paul came home later in the evening and the three of them ate dinner in silence as well, Paul knowing well enough to not ask questions.

After Sarah finally fell asleep she called Siobhan and had it out with her foster mother. She didn't hold back in her lashing, needing Siobhan to know just how far she had crossed the line. The despicability of antagonizing Sarah when she had specifically asked the woman to cut Sarah some slack, hoping maybe for once she would show her foster daughter some empathy.

Siobhan had at least had the decency to inflect some remorse in her tone when Beth went off. She still wasn't sure how much of that she believed to be genuine though. Siobhan seemed to have a split personality when it came to her twin foster daughters – rough, tough, and unforgiving with Sarah; kind, loving, and supportive with Beth. As a result, she never could distinguish which version was the real Siobhan. She liked to believe that her tough love act with Sarah was a result of her sister's troubled ways throughout their child and teen years. Their foster mother did actually love them both and Felix unconditionally, she just had to handle each of them a different way.

She hadn't held back with Siobhan this time though. So many times before, similar events had arose and she only half-heartedly defended Sarah, the other half agreeing with S' handling of the situation. This time, Sarah needed the defense more than anything. Her sister's health and well-being depended on it. Somehow, Beth had managed to get Siobhan to change her mind about Sarah's relationship with Kira and agreed to let the mother and daughter reunite. Of course, she did it under the terms that they would not be permitted to be alone together and Beth immediately volunteered to be the one to supervise them.

Even giving her word that she would keep a watchful eye on Sarah and Kira wasn't enough though and S insisted that the meeting take place in her presence as well. Realizing she wasn't in a place for any further negotiation, Beth agreed to the terms and hoped Siobhan's presence wouldn't disrupt Sarah and Kira too much.

Here she was now, on her way back home to meet up with Sarah. They were walking to pick Kira up from school together and then headed back to Siobhan's for the evening. The whole day she had been anxious about the reunion, desperately hoping that everything would go smoothly for her sister. She had been doing so well with her recovery and Beth feared that anything going wrong with Kira would set her so far back and risk relapse. Sarah had made it through the most difficult part of withdrawal but being reunited with Kira was always going to be a very important aspect of a full recovery. It was so important that their relationship be healthy and stable, meaning Siobhan needed to let it actually take place or else Sarah would never fully escape the grips of the call to drugs.

She pulled up outside her house and saw that Sarah was already sitting on the steps waiting for her. Beth smiled in satisfaction at seeing her sister dressed in a pair of black jeggings and a blue sweater with black shoulder patches, of course her signature leather jacket pulled on and studded black boots adorning her feet. Before she left for work, Beth had warned Sarah to be dressed appropriately for the afternoon. The last thing she needed was for her sister to dress too much like a hoe and have Siobhan clucking in disapproval before they even got into the house. Sarah had done well though and Beth smiled widely at her as she got out of the car.

"Hey, you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Sarah swallowed thickly, the nerves and anxiousness shining through easily.

"Cool. It's only like a fifteen minute walk to Kira's school, I've picked her up before and it's not too bad."

"Le's go then," Sarah nodded and walked down the remaining steps that separated her and Beth.

Beth immediately threw a comforting arm around her twin as they began their walk. "You nervous?"

Sarah shrugged but remained silent as they moved.

"You shouldn't be. Kira's gonna be so excited to see you.

"Yeah," Sarah agreed half-heartedly, her head clearly not focussed on the conversation at hand.

Beth understood her sister's nerves over the impending reunion and allowed them to fall into a comfortable silence. They walked side by side through the city until they were finally waiting outside Kira's school. They had about five minutes to spare before the bell rang and the little girl would come running down the front stairs.

"Does she know I'm back?"

"Yeah," Beth nodded. "She doesn't know you're coming today though. I thought it'd be nice to surprise her."

"What if she hates me for leavin, Beth?"

"That's impossible, Sar," Beth disagreed. "We both know Kira practically idolizes you. You're like her favourite person in the world. It's actually kind of insulting considering how hard I try to be the super cool aunt."

Sarah chuckled softly under her breath. "I guess you can't compete with my coolness."

"Whatever man. At least I'm her favourite aunt."

"You're her only aunt, Childs," Sarah pointed out wryly.

"Whatever," Beth grumbled and punched her sister in the arm.

The sound of the loud bell ringing had both women turning their attention to the school doors. Within seconds the kids started pouring out and running in every which direction. Sarah's eyes were darting from face to face to face, looking for her precious daughter. For a moment, she wondered if there was a chance she wouldn't recognize Kira given that it had been ten months since she had last seen her.

Only another half second passed before Sarah knew her thought was completely untrue. Her heart nearly stopped beating in her chest at the sight of Kira exiting the school. She watched her daughter survey the parents standing around until she came to her and Beth. The smile that lit up the little girl's face was unlike anything she had ever seen and watching her take off down the steps, racing toward her had Sarah crouching toward the ground.

Before she knew it Kira was only a few feet away. Her voice emitting a gleeful, "Mommy!"

Sarah laughed joyously when her daughter was finally back in her arms. She hugged her tightly, pouring the last ten months of lost time into it. "Hi, Monkey."

They stayed clinging each other for several minutes, Sarah rubbing her daughter's back over and over. She sunk herself into the moment, needing to take everything about it in. She didn't think she had ever felt so happy in her entire life. Kira is and always had been everything to her and being reunited after leaving her for nearly a year was almost overwhelming.

"I missed you, Mummy." Kira said, her head buried deeply into Sarah's neck.

"I missed you too, baby. So much," Sarah sniffled back, removing a hand from her daughter's back to wipe away a stray tear from her eye.

They pulled away after another couple of moments. Sarah took the time to survey her daughter and laughed. "God look at you! You're so big!"

Kira giggled at the exclamation and swung her body back and forth. "I'm the smallest kid in my class!"

Wiping the tears from her face, the smile still wide on her face Sarah shook her head. "Well you're big to me."

Kira smiled widely back at her mother and took a moment to give Beth a quick hug in greeting.

"I told you you'd see her soon, kiddo," Beth smiled at the infectious grin spread across the young girl's face.

Kira giggled and nodded. She took a hand from both her mother and aunt, walking between them happily back to Mrs S' house. "Are you back for good, Mummy?"

Sarah glanced down at Kira and sighed guiltily. "Yeah, Monkey. I'm not goin' anywhere, I promise."

It nearly broke her heart when Kira glanced over to Beth, clearly looking for confirmation of her mother's response. Beth squeezed the girl's hand gently and nodded in affirmation. "She's here for good, kid."

"Good," Kira smiled widely. "I like it best when we all get to be together."

"We know you do, Monkey," Sarah replied.

"That's the way it's gonna be from now on, alright?" Beth added and threw a pointed glance at Sarah. She knew her sister wasn't about to just up and leave Kira again, but she also needed her to know that even if she got that urge again that she'd make it a hell of a lot harder for her to get out of town this time around.

They turned a corner and Siobhan's home came into view – the same home that both Sarah and Beth had spent their teen years living in. Siobhan was already standing on the front step, watching like a hawk as the three girls approached her. Her eyes were clearly zeroed in on Sarah and narrowed in a highly untrusting manner.

Kira looked up at her mother. "Is Mrs. S mad at you, Mummy?"

Beth let go of her niece's hand and continued down the sidewalk as Sarah and Kira came to a halt. Sarah knelt down in front of her daughter and smiled sadly. "Yeah, she is baby."

"Because you left us?"

"Yeah," Sarah sighed and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "She's mad because it hurts you. But I'm back now and I promise I'm goin to fix it all, yeah? You don't have to be sad I'm gone anymore and S won't be mad at me eventually."

Kira nodded in understanding and Sarah kissed the side of her head gently. She rubbed Kira's arms soothingly. "In the meantime though, I've gotta stay with Auntie Beth. We can see each other every day though, alright? And I'll always just be a phone call away."

"Okay, Mummy," Kira smiled and hugged her mother once again. "I'm glad you're back."

"Me too, Monkey, me too," Sarah replied peacefully, feeling completely at ease for the first time in over ten months.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Hey, what's up," Beth held her cellphone up to her ear in the dark kitchen. "What? I thought you weren't flying in until tomorrow night? Shit, no you can't. Yeah, he's out of town for a few days but I still can't. Fuck, alright. Just cab it to a hotel for the night and we'll work something out in the morning?"

"Christ Childs, who the hell are you talkin to?" Sarah's raspy voice sounded through the room.

Beth turned around in surprise, phone still held to her ear. "Cos, I gotta go."

Sarah rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked curiously at her sister. The way she hastily hung up her phone was so unlike Beth's usually calm and cool demeanor.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up."

"Obviously. People don't make whisper phone calls at two in the morning and hope to wake someone up," Sarah replied.

"Right," Beth nodded and scratched her head uncomfortably.

"Who was it?"

"Hm?"

"Who were you talkin' to?" Sarah questioned slowly, completely confused by her sister's odd behaviour.

"Oh, no one. It was just – no one," Beth shrugged lamely.

Sarah furrowed her brow deeply. "What in the hell is goin' on with you?"

Beth glanced around the room in clear discomfort. She was actively avoiding Sarah's gaze and desperately wracking her brain for something to say to her sister. She had always been a bloody shit liar though and Sarah could already see right through her.

"Jesus, screw it," she muttered to herself. "Once I tell you, there's no going back, Sar."

"Okay…" Sarah hedged in concern and took a seat at the island when Beth gestured there. "How 'bout a cuppa?"

"Yeah," Beth nodded and ran a shaky hand though her hair. She placed the kettle on the stove burner and leaned back against the countertop next to it.

Sarah was still eyeing her curiously, trying to figure out what could possibly have her sister looking so anxious in the middle of the night. Beth was never one to let people see when she was shaken. She was always more the type to keep her emotions inside in fear that letting people see them would make her seem weak. Even more so since she entered the police force. Working in a man's world with a bunch of tough criminals had trained her to be as stoic as possible as often as possible. Sarah was one of the few people she ever let her guard down in front of and even this version of Beth was unprecedented for the twin.

"Is everything alright, Beth?"

Beth ignored her sister's concerned question as the kettle began steaming. She turned her back and poured the hot water into two mugs for them both, adding milk and sugar just as she and Sarah liked it. She placed the mug in front of her sister and took a seat next to her silently.

"No. Everything's not okay, Sarah."

"Whatever it is we can fix it, yeah? We just gotta stick together," Sarah tried to smile reassuringly, not at all used to being the one that has to offer comfort and support.

"It's not that bloody simple," Beth groaned and rubbed her temples slowly. "This entire thing is so fucked up, you have no idea."

"Is this about you shootin' a civilian?"

Beth visibly bristled at her sister's words. She slowly turned her head to look at Sarah again. "Who told you?"

"Paul," Sarah shrugged. "I don't think he even meant to. We just got talking and it came up."

"He shouldn't have," she shook her head angrily. "It's none of his business."

"He's your boyfriend, Beth and he was worried about you. Were you even gonna tell me about all that shite?" she demanded harshly, the worry over her sister steadily getting stronger.

"I don't know, okay? It's my shit to deal with – alone."

"So what, you were just gonna keep poppin' your pills behind everyone's back then?"

Beth looked darkly at her sister, the rage in her expression very evident. Sarah figured it would be the case before the words even left her mouth. Beth had always hated being vulnerable and bringing something like a prescription pill addiction up in conversation would not sit well with her. She wasn't about to tiptoe around the subject though.

"Back off, Sarah. Paul knows I'm not doing that anymore. It stopped once I got reinstated."

"I'm just confused," Sarah shrugged helplessly. "You're always on my ass about drugs but then you end up with a bloody habit too. You shoulda told me."

"When the hell was I supposed to tell you any of it, Sarah? When you had disappeared for ten fucking months while the whole shit storm was happening?! I handled it myself before you came back so there was nothing to tell," she finished calmly, her tone trying to convey finality on the subject.

Sarah sighed deeply and muttered out an apology. "It just scared me when he told me about all the shit that's been goin' on with you that I didn't know about."

"I know," Beth nodded calmly and placed a comforting hand atop her sister's. "You don't have to worry about me though. I'm all good now."

"Then what's with the late night phone calls?" Sarah asked gruffly, finding it difficult to believe her sister amidst all the secrecy going on.

"Sarah…" Beth hedged, not wanting to bring her sister into the drama that was rapidly unfolding in her life. Sarah quickly flashed a stern look at her twin though that told Beth her avoidance wasn't going to fly. "Fuck, fine. But you asked for it."

Sarah nodded warily, taking a sip of her hot tea to hopefully calm her racing mind.

"So about six months ago I was contacted by a woman and she said she thought we might be related."

"Shit, Beth! Like our bloody birth mother?" Sarah blew out in a mixture of shock and anger. Anger at the woman for crawling out of the woodwork after twenty eight years of silence and also at her twin for not telling her the second she came back to town.

"No, not a mother. Like a sister," Beth continued hesitantly, already seeing the emotions playing out across her twin's face. "She said she needed my help, that she was in danger."

"How the hell did she find you?"

"I don't know," Beth shrugged. She held a hand up softly to halt Sarah from further questioning and slid off her stool smoothly. She walked quickly to her bedroom and returned minutes later with a silver briefcase in hand. "I asked her to send me more information about herself just so I could know if she was legit. You know, like pictures, birth certificate and shit."

Beth unlocked the clasps on the case and opened it slowly so Sarah could no longer see the contents. She pulled out several pieces of paper and laid them out flat on the counter in front of her sister.

"Holy shit…" Sarah glanced up at Beth, looking for further explanation. The woman staring back at her in the pictures had the exact same fucking face as her and her twin. "Wha' the hell is goin' on? We were triplets?"

Beth gulped heavily, desperately wanting to keep the information to herself. She placed an additional piece of paper on the counter and shook her head helplessly while muttering, "just one, I'm a few, no family too."

"Beth. What the bloody hell is this shit?"

"We're genetic identicals, Sarah," Beth explained softly.

"Well, yeah," Sarah scoffed at the statement. "Course we are, we're twins. But this – this German. She looks exactly like us? Only her bloody birth date is three weeks before ours."

"We're genetic identicals," Beth repeated again, her tone just as soft in hopes that the more soothing her voice was the easier she could lay the revelation on her sister. "We're clones, Sarah."

"What the fuck?!" Sarah exclaimed and abruptly stood from her stool, nearly knocking her tea over in the process. "You're jokin' right? This ain't funny, Childs. Jesus."

"Does it look like I'm joking, Sarah?" Beth countered heatedly. "Sit your ass down and listen to me."

Sarah shook her head and began pacing back and forth. Her skin was practically itching with the urge to bolt. The only feeling she could seem to pinpoint was fear – which only served to spark more fear. Sarah Manning didn't do fear; never had, never would. Now she was though. The word clone left her mouth feeling like sandpaper. Her entire life was a lie then, wasn't it? All of a sudden everything she had believed to be true was coming into question. She returned her gaze to Beth with a completely lost look on her face and reclaimed her previous seat.

"You good?"

Sarah nodded in confirmation, not sure if her voice would hold the same affirmation.

"Okay," Beth sighed deeply. "So this German – Katja – contacted me six months ago and all this shit started. She said she was sick with a respiratory illness and that someone was trying to kill her and all the other European clones she knew of. Two were already dead, the German and a French one were left. There wasn't much I could do to help them but I ran facial recognition software to find anyone else."

Beth halted her words and pulled out several more photos and birth certificates. "I found you and me, obviously, along with Alison Hendrix, Cosima Niehaus, Rachel Duncan, Jennifer Fitzsimmons, and Tony Sawicki. All the same face, all have birthdays within a month of ours."

"Christ how many of us are there?"

"Eleven that I know of. I'm in contact with Cosima and Alison. You heard me on the phone earlier with Cosima, she goes to school in Minnesota but she just got into the city. Sawicki's trans and seems to like being a criminal so I've left him out of it, Jennifer has the same respiratory issues the German had, and Rachel Duncan is some corporate power at the DYAD institute."

"What do you mean the German _had_?" Sarah asked slowly, not liking where the conversation was headed at all so far. Not to mention hearing that her sister was in regular contact with their bloody clones.

"The German's dead. She came to Toronto a couple months ago hoping to get Cosima to research her illness back at school. She was shot in the head from long range while sitting in the back of my car. I guess whoever was killing the Europeans killed the French one off and followed Katja over here to finish the job. I managed to get away and deal with the body. We haven't heard anything on the killer front since then."

"Shite," Sarah shook her head in disbelief. She was still half convinced that all the shit Beth was telling her was some elaborate practical joke. The only thing convincing her otherwise was the level of seriousness on her sister's face.

"That civilian I shot wasn't an accident either. She was some woman that has been working with whoever's trying to kill us. She was some sort of tracker or something, so I tracked her right back and killed her. I called Art after it happened and he helped me cover it all up."

"Art knows?"

"Not about the clone shit, no. He still thinks I was just high on my meds and I mistook a civilian for a wanted fugitive. But he covered for me all the same," she explained patiently.

"Between the information Katja originally gave me and my resources at the station, I've been able to research and dig into this whole mess. Maggie Chen – the woman I killed originally worked for the DYAD institute. They're like this huge corporation that focusses on biotechnology innovation and shit and I'm almost positive it's them that started this whole cloning thing. Chen switched sides eventually and became some fucking religious extremist that wanted us all killed off."

"Jesus Christ," Sarah muttered out.

Beth nodded silently in understanding of her sister's shock. She had been in the exact same position only six months prior. It was a shit load of information to swallow and near impossible to wrap one's head around. The weight of the entire situation was why she had wanted so badly to keep it a secret from Sarah until absolutely necessary. Her sister was fresh off a drug addiction and needed to focus all her attention on rebuilding her relationship with Kira. She didn't need to worry about clone drama and possibly getting murdered by some religious extremist psychopath.

"Does Paul know? Or Mrs S and Fe?"

"Felix and Siobhan don't know."

"But Paul?"

"Paul knows something, I'm just not sure what or how much."

"Whaddya mean?" Sarah questioned. "If he knows anything then you told him, yeah?"

"No. See, since we're basically the DYAD's fucking science experiment, it would only make sense for them to plant someone in our lives so they could watch us. I'm pretty damn sure that Paul is my monitor and he reports back to someone named Olivier about me. The part I'm not sure about is if he knows what we are or why he's actually reporting about me."

"That bloody bastard," Sarah growled angrily. She knew he and Beth had had their ups and downs over the years but she never thought he'd be so shady.

"Yeah," Beth agreed with a resigned shrug. She had been stewing with that bit of information for so long now that it basically had no effect on her anymore. Paul was a certified asshole and that was that – except she couldn't keep a part of herself from loving him still.

"If we've all got monitors whose mine then?"

"I don't know," Beth shrugged. "In case you haven't noticed, you're kind of a nomad, Sar. Other than me, Felix, Siobhan, and Kira, no one is really in your life for a very substantial period of time."

"And Paul," Sarah added pointedly. "You think he's my monitor too?"

"Who knows? All I know is right now we can't trust anyone."

"And what's the deal with you being buddies with two of them, huh? You said Cosima just got into town, what about Alison."

"Lives in bloody Scarborough. She's about as local as you can get," Beth snorted in amusement at the irony that she had lived so close to a clone for so long. "I contacted them because I thought they should know they were in danger and hoping they might be able to help. I'm a cop, Cosima's a scientist, and Alison's a housewife that supplies the funds. We're trying to figure out what the hell is going on and what we can do about it."

"I can't believe this," Sarah muttered and ran an exhausted hand through her tousled locks. "So, this mean I get to meet my clones now too?"

"No," Beth immediately objected. "I don't want you involved. You need to focus on Kira, let me handle all this other shit for now. I can do it, I promise."

Sarah looked as though she were going to object for a moment but swallowed thickly and sat back again. She took a calming sip of her now lukewarm tea and sighed. Just when she had finally seemed to recover and get back on some sort of stable ground, the world was ripping the rug out from beneath her all over again. Only this time it was so much more severe than all the rest. Her life and her sister's life were suddenly being threatened and there was nothing either of them could do to stop it.

She was still scared and she still wanted to run. But she couldn't. Kira was here. Beth needed her, even if she claimed to be able to handle everything alone. All she wanted more than anything was to get far away from this place, far away from the drama that just exploded into her life, far away from women who were walking around with her face. She _needed_ it, _craved_ it. Her, Kira, Felix, and Beth – somewhere, anywhere that was remote and warm. It was always her desire to have that, but now more than anything, now when she knew it was absolutely never going to happen did it seem like her life depended on it happening.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

She drove slowly through the suburbs, mind racing so quickly she could barely pinpoint a single thought passing through it. She barely got any sleep after Sarah caught her talking to Cosima in the middle of the night. The twins had sat up virtually the rest of the night/morning until it was time for Beth to get to work.

Surprisingly, after the initial explanation Sarah didn't have many questions. Both the women found comfort in sitting up with each other though. They passed most of the hours in silence or brief spurts of mundane conversation. The uncertainty had been palpable in the air, neither knowing what to do next or how to react to the entire situation. Although Beth had been dealing with it for months now and had essentially become the group's leader, she still had no bloody clue what she was doing half the time.

She parked her car on the side of the road, a conspicuous enough distance away from her destination. Drawing out a long sigh, Beth shut the car off and swung herself out of the vehicle. Her footfall on the cement was the only sound on the dark street. She took comfort in listening to the sound, she always had actually. It helped remind her that she was still alive.

Beth quietly slipped through the back gate of the suburban home. She didn't even flinch when the automatic emergency lights flicked on at her movement, too used to them at this point to be effected. She knocked softly on the door, not even knowing why since the lights pretty much alerted everyone that someone was outside.

The door opened moments later and Beth stared at her identical across from her. Alison gave her a kind smile and opened the door wider. "Hello, Beth. It's nice to see you."

"Yeah hey, Ali. How are you?" Beth replied easily and crossed the threshold into the home.

"I'm well, thank you," Alison responded politely and took a stiff seat on the couch next to her.

Beth smiled and did the same. She glanced around the room and noted that as always, it was spotless. "Cosima on her way?"

"She should be," Alison nodded. "But we both know she's always late so what can we expect."

"Right," Beth laughed softly, knowing how truthful the observation was. She felt her phone vibrate in her pocket but ignored it. Chances are it was Sarah anyway. Her sister claimed she was going to Felix's to get drunk while she dealt with meeting up with Alison and Cosima.

She hadn't exactly been pleased when Sarah announced her plans, considering her sister was just coming off a drug addiction. It didn't seem like the smartest move to be partying with their foster brother whose lifestyle wasn't exactly free of drugs. She didn't protest too much though, knowing Sarah needed at least one night of heavy boozing to cope with the new found information of her cloneage.

If she looked at her phone now and saw anything less than pleasing, she may not even be able to get through her entire meeting. Her concern for Sarah would likely take over very quickly and she'd hightail it to Felix's and end up getting sloshed with her siblings to cope as well.

"How's work going?" Alison's voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Um, good. I actually got put on active duty again last week, so," she trailed off with a shrug. Despite knowing Alison Hendrix for nearly half a year, it was still odd for Beth to carry on a conversation with her. They were usually all business in general, but Cosima helped to always chill things out.

Alison and Beth just didn't possess the personalities that were capable of being chill about having clones. They only ever interacted with each other to pass along any relevant information. Otherwise, Alison preferred to live a separate life with her family. Beth understood it of course, knowing all too well what it was like to have people you love that you needed to protect at all costs. It was hard on her though, felt like she was dealing with all the bullshit alone most of the time. Cosima was in another country and too busy with her schooling to offer help a lot of the time.

"That's great, Beth," Alison offered a congratulatory smile. "I assume that means things will be getting busier for you again then?"

"Yeah, probably. No worries though, I'll still have time to get any information we need on the side."

"Good. That's good," Alison nodded more to herself than anything. A soft rapping on the door had her springing up in seconds and swinging it open to allow Cosima into the home.

The dreadlocked scientist immediately locked eyes with Beth and smiled widely in greeting. "Hey! How are you guys?"

"Not bad," Beth shrugged in response and Alison just smiled at the newly arrived woman.

"Dude, so sorry about the late night call. I totally spaced on a hotel reservation before I left, was kinda in a bind when I landed."

"Don't worry about it," Beth shook off the apology. "Sorry I couldn't help you out."

Cosima waved her hand noncommittally, letting the other woman know it wasn't a big deal. Cosima quickly took a seat on the couch opposite Beth and Alison, promptly pulling out her laptop.

"Alright, what have you got so far on the German's samples?" Beth questioned immediately, figuring there was no use dancing around with pleasantries any longer.

Cosima shrugged indifferently, a look of frustration cropping up on her face. "Not much more than last time I talk to you guys. We've been trying to sequence her DNA but it's not going great."

"We?" Alison interrupted in confusion.

"Yeah. Me and Scott, he works in the lab with me. He's totally clueless about what he's working on though, no worries there," she smiled assuredly. "Anyway though, I've been getting him to code through the sequences, looking for all kinds of things that could've caused the German's illness. So far nothing conclusive has come back so I'm starting to think it's an autoimmune issue."

"Which means?" Beth probed hesitantly.

"Most autoimmune diseases are genetic. Which means we're all at risk for developing the same thing," Cosima explained gently. "I've started taking my own samples and comparing them to the German's to see if maybe two separate sources will help turn something back."

"You've got to be joking!" Alison exclaimed, only keeping her voice down slightly. "I have a family to take care of, Cosima. I can't be dealing with some mysterious illness!"

"I know, Alison," Cosima tried to calm her down with a soothing voice. "I'm working as fast as I can on this, alright?"

"How would looking at your DNA help? If we're all genetically identical then you and the German will have identical sequences, no?"

"That's true. But she was sick and I'm not. I'm thinking there could be some sort of mutation in her sequence that I don't have because I'm healthy. If we can identify that, then it'll be easier to figure out what's going on with this disease, where it's originating, and how we can fight it."

"Right," Beth nodded in understanding. "Well just keep looking then and hopefully something will go our way soon."

"What about you, Beth. Have you found anything more about who might be behind this whole thing?"

Beth shrugged and ran an exhausted hand through her hair. "Not really. I've been really busy dealing with other shit. I haven't had the time to dig anymore."

Cosima nodded silently and tilted her head as she took in Beth's stiff form. Alison was sitting absentmindedly next to her still, her mind clearly nowhere near focused on the meeting at hand any longer. Beth rolled her eyes inwardly at her counterparts and waited for Cosima to finish her blatant observing.

"Are you sure you're alright, Beth?" Cosima tried to ask gently after several minutes.

"I'm fine, Cosima."

"Yeah, sure. It's just that you look completely exhausted and I know with that shooting-"

"Stay out of it, Cosima," Beth warned. "I probably look exhausted because you woke me up in the middle of the night for a place to crash. You focus on your biology side and I'll focus on my part, okay?"

"Yeah dude, sorry. Didn't mean to upset you."

Beth nodded tiredly and stood from the couch. Alison seemed to snap out of her haze at the motion and looked up to Beth in surprise. "We're done?"

"Yeah Ali, we're done. I'll call you guys if I find anything else," she said and shrugged her jacket back on. Checking her pockets to make sure her phones and keys were still present, she offered an uncomfortable smile to the women and headed out the door without another word.

She unlocked her car from across the street and slid into in relief. As soon as the door was closed behind she sat in the darkness, head leaning back against the headrest in complete exhaustion. Everything about having to experience that meeting at this point was horrendously painful for her. She was in so much fucking deeper than Cosima or Alison could ever comprehend. It was horrible for her to have sit through their theorizing and sometimes panic, acting like she was just as clueless as they were about the entire thing. Sarah was the only one with all the information and she planned on keeping it that way. She could work with Alison and Cosima, but trusting them with all the deeper shit was too dangerous, she had no idea who she could really trust anymore.

The Beth Childs from six months ago had disappeared and been replaced by a new, carbon copy of her former self. She was a shell of a person now, completely empty inside. She could act like everything was fien and go through the motions of a normal life, but shit was so far from fine. She operated now to gain truth and knowledge over what the hell her existence was for. Not to mention she was handed the role of protector without ever asking for it. Being a clone had become her entire life – controlling every move she made now.

She wished so badly she could separate her clone drama from her real life like Cosima and Alison seemed to. It was impossible now with everything she had already discovered though. Cloning had infiltrated every goddamn aspect of her life and there's nothing she could do to stop it.

* * *

><p>"Oi, don't go, sister!" Felix shouted as Sarah moved through his flat, searching for her discarded leather jacket.<p>

"I got to, idiot. Beth'll flip her shit if I don't show up before sunrise," she rolled her eyes, Felix knew it was the truth so she didn't know why he even bothered to protest.

"Right. Well she needs to lighten up a bit. All work and no play make for a boring Elizabeth."

"Eh!" Sarah scolded. "Give her a break, yeah? Without her being as stable as she is, me and you'd probably be dead by now."

"You for sure," Felix agreed with a disinterested shrug. He took another swig of amber liquid from his tumbler and smiled widely at his sister. "Just one more drink?"

Sarah laughed and shook her head. "I can't, Fee. She's probably already wonderin' where I am."

"This all could've been avoided if she just came in the first place you know."

"She had shit to do tonight."

"Like what?" Felix laughed. "Paul's outta town. Who else does she hang out with these days?"

"I dunno, alright? She said she was busy, I didn't ask questions," Sarah said in aggravation and Felix seemed to sense it was time to shut up. Sarah was going to defend her sister to him in light of all the shit she'd just found out. Beth was in deep and she was protecting not only Sarah but Felix as well by keeping her at a distance with it all. She couldn't stand to listen to him making fun of her right now.

She dropped a light kiss on Felix's cheek and smiled in goodbye. Sarah was gone without a backwards glance and making her way out to the street. Beth's apartment was a fair walk away but she knew some shortcuts through the city that could make it go by faster. She didn't mind the distance anyway, actually having come to enjoy the solitude of walking through a city late at night. Most people would be scared of all the types of people who came out when darkness blanketed, but Sarah could often be considered one of the people all others thought to fear. A street smart grifter that ought not to be fucked with.

She walked along the sidewalk, hands tucked firmly in the pockets of her jacket. The night air was crisp, the threat of snow falling increasing every day. If there was one thing she couldn't bloody stand, it was the cold and the Canadian winters. She gritted her teeth to keep the chill at bay, clenching her fists tightly in a will to keep warm. The alcohol in her system was wearing off faster than she anticipated, causing the heat loss to be even more noticeable with every step. She upped her pace slightly to get home even faster.

The alleyways she cut through were nearly pitch black but if they could get her to her destination in half the time, she didn't mind having to adjust her vision. With only a few blocks to go, Sarah cut through her last alley and sighed victoriously knowing she was only a few minutes away from a warm house to curl up in.

So busy anticipating the warmth to be had, Sarah didn't notice a figure emerge from the shadows of the alley. She continued to walk as her unknown companion stalked behind her, picking up a large piece of abandoned lumber. Half a second later Sarah was struck hard in the back with the wood and stumbled to the ground, only barely pulling her hands from their confines in time to catch herself. She still felt the stinging from the harsh gravel in her palm and cheek though. She rolled over quickly in shock, looking up to see what in the hell had just happened.

A hooded figure loomed over her, knife in hand. Sarah's eyes widened in fear as the figure sprung down to pin her to the gravel. She could just make out the bleached strands of curly hair peeking out under the hood and she shuddered.

"Good riddance, Elizabeth Childs," the figure said menacingly, voice dripping with a heavy Eastern European accent.

Sarah's chin wobbled as she watched the knife swing back in the air, preparing for impact. Her mind seemed to process what the attacker said and shook her head in terror. "I'm not Beth!"

The attacker froze, bring the knife back down to rest against her side carefully. She pulled her hood back and Sarah nearly vomited at the sight of her own bloody face looking back at her. Albeit, this bitch screamed psychopath, still her face nonetheless.

"Who are you?" Sarah demanded, trying with all her might to keep her voice from shaking.

The clone stared down at Sarah, shaking her head. She allowed the knife to graze against Sarah's outer thigh. "Not yet, not Beth."

Sarah closed her eyes briefly. She felt around harshly on the ground and nearly cried when her hand latched onto a piece of rebar. She clenched her fist around it and brought it up as quickly as she could, impaling the clone's stomach as hard as she could.

The woman stumbled off Sarah and she wasted no time in scrambling backwards, trying to get her shaky legs to stand once again. The clone was gasping her air, gripping at the piece of metal stuck in her but never pulling it out. She turned her back to Sarah for the first time in the encounter, stumbling down the alley until she had disappeared.

Sarah choked out a half-sob and hastily picked up the knife that her clone had left behind. She took a deep breath in hopes of calming herself down and ran the rest of the way to Beth's apartment.

She unlocked the door and swung it open forcefully when she finally arrived. Slamming it shut behind her just as quickly and flipping the lock. She tossed the knife on the counter in disgust and was overcome with nausea as the events of the last five minutes started to settle in her stomach. She coughed once and threw up bile in the kitchen sink, hands gripping the counter top as though her life depended on it.

Sarah had barely finished wiping her mouth when the sound of the door unlocking had her grabbing for the abandoned blade again and turning to face the door. She steeled her features over as the door swung open but relaxed when Beth's figure appeared in the opening.

"Jesus Manning! What the hell are you doing?" Beth demanded at the sight of her sister standing with a serious knife in her hand.

"Sorry," Sarah muttered and dropped the knife. "Didn't know it was you."

"Well obviously," she scoffed and narrowed her eyes at Sarah. "What happened to your face? It's all cut up."

Sarah laughed emptily. "Yeah. I think I just met our clone killer."

"What? Who is he? Did you get a good look?"

"He's a bloody she, and she looked exactly fucking like us. All kinds of psychotic."

"Holy shit. She's one of us?"

"She came at me with this," Sarah explained, holding the knife up and passing it off the Beth. "Tried to stab me with it but I got her first with a piece of rebar."

"Fuck Sarah, I-"

"She thought I was you, Beth. Sounded like she had every intention of killin' you tonight," Sarah said softly, the fear creeping into her voice easily.

Beth gulped, nodding as she examined the knife in her hand. "This is a fucking mess."

"Yeah," Sarah scoffed in angry agreement. "How'd your meetin' go?"

Beth shook her head. "Let's not talk about it right now."

She looked up at her twin sister, the fear in her eyes an exact mirror to Sarah's. She placed the knife gently on the counter and moved to stand in front of her sister. She wrapped Sarah in a tight hug and tried to let out all her anxiety over the situation in a deep breath. "I'm not gonna let anything happen to us."

"Promise?" Sarah asked vulnerably.

Beth closed her eyes at the waver in Sarah's voice, letting a small tear squeeze out. She cleared her throat slightly to keep her voice strong when she spoke. "I promise."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Distraction. Exhaustion. They seemed to be the two critical themes of her life as of late. It made it damn well difficult to be a good detective when she couldn't keep her mind focused on the job for more than a few minutes. One thing after another kept coming up and throwing her even more off course than she was before. Her entire life was spinning out of control and it was all thanks to the goddamn DYAD Institute. On the other hand though, she should be thanking them for her life existing at all, shouldn't she?

Beth removed her head from her hands when she heard a slap against her desk. She looked up and saw DeAngelis giving her a slightly concerned look – as concerned as Angela DeAngelis could actually look. "You alright, Beth?"

"Yeah, I'm good Ang. Just didn't sleep well last night," she offered with a shrug.

"Alright. Well there's someone on line 3 asking for you," she offered a polite smile and returned to her desk.

Beth cleared her throat before picking up the phone on her desk. "Detective Childs."

"Hello Beth," a thick accented voice drawled down the line. Beth froze at the sound and gripped the telephone tight in her hand.

"Who is this?"

"Helena," the voice spoke through the line in a near whisper.

Beth gritted her teeth in anger. "Well Helena, I heard you tried to kill me a few nights ago, yeah? Except you got a real surprise when you tracked the wrong person. I don't know what the hell your problem is or why you think killing us is the solution, but you leave my sister out of it."

"She is your sestra?"

"Yeah, she's my sister you piece of shit. And she has nothing to do with any of this. This is gonna be between you and me from now on, understand?" Beth explained tensely, trying to keep aware of her surroundings and not raise her voice too high.

"No. This does not work for me."

"Yeah well that's too bloody bad for you. Last I heard your stomach was filled with rebar so you're not really in a position to fight right now."

"I want to speak with your sestra again. We have a connection."

"That's not gonna happen," Beth shook her head and couldn't seem to stop the motion once she began, the rage beginning to consume her. "You'll talk to me and only me."

"If you do not obey, I will kill you first," Helena threatened easily.

"Oh yeah? 'Cause that worked out so well for you the first time. Try and kill me but I'm still here and you didn't kill my sister either."

"Because we have a connection."

"Right," Beth drawled sarcastically. "A connection. Maybe it's from the bloody metal rod she stabbed you with, huh?"

"No."

"Okay. So then how do you know you and I don't have a connection too?"

"Oh we do, Elizabeth Childs."

"Tell me about that then, Helena," Beth gritted out. She surveyed the office once more, no one was paying her any attention still.

"Margaret Chen," Helena said and Beth was sure she felt the hair on the back of her neck raise.

"Right, yeah she was your friend wasn't she? Helped you track down the Europeans so you could snipe them?"

"Yes," Helena confirmed. "I must kill you all. You are filthy creatures, you do not deserve to live."

Beth laughed mirthlessly. "Maggie feed you all that bullshit? You've got it all wrong, Helena. Tell you what, why don't we meet somewhere and we can talk it all out, yeah? We all want the same things here," she tried to sound gentle and convincing, having no clue if that would be processed by a psychopath serial killer.

"I think no," Helena said and Beth could hear the woman laughing down the line. "I will find you and sestra when time is right."

"No, Helena listen to me-"

"Baaaaaaaah. Goodbye, Detective Childs," Helena said right before the line went dead.

Beth sat still in her chair for several moments after, just keeping the receiver glued to her ear in hopes that somehow she didn't just get hung up on. So this fucking freak knew who she was, where she worked, that Sarah exists, and probably where she lived too.

Sarah was at Felix's for that very reason today as neither of them wanted her alone in the apartment after Helena's attack the other night. Things were getting serious though and it was taking every ounce of self-control she had in her to not run out of the station to get to Sarah and Felix to protect them both. She had a clone who wanted her dead, the same one who happened to have developed some weird crush on her twin sister.

She knew what level of screwed up she was dealing with the second she realized Maggie Chen and Helena were connected. Religious extremism could seriously mess with the head and actually speaking to Helena was only reinforcing that for Beth. Not to mention the knife she used, embedded with the same fish symbol that Chen had branded into her neck. They were devoted to the cause, which meant the only way Beth would be able to deal with Helena was to kill her before she had the chance to do the same to Beth and Sarah.

* * *

><p>"You know Sarah, I've never been one for subtlety," Felix mused as he waltzed through his flat and fell onto the couch next to his foster sister.<p>

Sarah scoffed with a smile and turned to him. "S'that right, Fee?"

"Right," he agreed and narrowed his eyes briefly at her. "But I thought I'd try it out tonight and it hasn't worked so here's me not being subtle anymore."

"Okay…" Sarah shrugged in confusion.

"What the hell is with your face being all cut up? Did you seriously get into a fight with someone when you're supposed to be getting your shit together?"

"It's not like that, Felix," Sarah sighed and unconsciously rubbed her cheek. It really wasn't even that cut up anymore, but of course Felix had some serious observations skills when he wanted to and noticed even the most minor details.

He gave her a stern look, letting her know he wasn't believing what she was telling. Before he had a chance to scold her on the attempted lie, the door to his flat swung open and Beth trudged in looking dead tired.

"Oi, oi, Elizabeth," he greeted and watched as she wordlessly walked across the room and flopped into the nearest chair across from her siblings.

"Hey," Beth sighed out, throwing her head back and closing her eyes in hopes of regaining some energy.

"Sarah and I were just discussing the cuts on her face," Felix commented easily and Sarah kicked her foot to the side, hitting him hard in the calf.

"Oi, shut up!"

Beth's head snapped back up and she eyed Sarah carefully. She gathered that her sister had either deflected the question or lied, both of which wouldn't sit well with their brother obviously, hence him not dropping the subject.

"What about it, Fee?" she drawled with a lack of interest.

"I'm just wondering what the hell happened for it to get like that."

Beth raised a brow at Sarah and shrugged, signalling it was her call on what to reveal. At this point, she just really couldn't care.

"Some fucker attacked me when I was walkin' home the other night, alright?" Sarah explained stubbornly.

"Holy shit, Sarah! Why didn't you just tell me?"

"It's complicated, Fee," Beth responded for her sister. At this point she didn't really care if Felix was let in on the drama that was their entire existence, but she knew now wasn't exactly the time to be doing so. They were expected to be at Mrs. S' for dinner in the next half hour.

"What the hell is complicated about it? Have you at least started looking into what asshole did it?" Felix asked incredulously, looking wide eyed at Beth.

"We already know who it was."

"Then is the bastard in jail?" Felix scoffed at his sister's apathy over the conversation.

"No. I've yet to apprehend her."

"Her?" Felix questioned. "What the hell is going on? You know who did it, it was a bloody woman, and you're not doing anything about it?"

"I repeat: it's complicated, Fee," Beth sighed heavily. She ran a hand through her hair tiredly, hoping he would sense her exhaustion and drop the entire subject. "I had a nice chat with her today and I'm working on bringing her in. I just need it to be something more serious than petty assault so I can get the bitch in prison a lot longer than a night or two."

"You talked to her?" Sarah's head snapped in her sister's direction. "How?"

"She called me at work. I'll fill you in when we get home."

"Okay," Felix threw his hands up dramatically. "What is going on with you two? You've both been acting bloody weird for days. Something's going on and I want to know what."

"Felix, it's-"

"Do NOT tell me it's complicated, Beth," he interrupted her angrily. "I have a right to know, especially if both of your safety is at stake."

Beth shook her head angrily. As she was about to formulate a response, Sarah held her hand up to stop her. Her sister shifted in the couch so that she was facing Felix and took his hand gently.

"Don't worry about us, yeah? We've got it under control."

"Oh, that's really comforting," Felix rolled his eyes.

Sarah smiled calmly at her brother despite not feeling at all calm on the inside. "There is something going on with us, alright? But we don't want you worryin' about it so we're gonna keep you out of it for now. And trust me Fee, even if we did tell you I'm not sure you'd believe it all anyway. I've seen it with my own eyes and I still don't bloody believe it."

"Seen what, Sarah," Felix peered at his sister, eyes practically flooded with worry over both her and Beth. A pleading look covered his face.

Sarah spared at glance at Beth and saw the resigned look on her face. She blew out a hesitant breath and cursed inwardly. "Fuck it," she muttered and both her siblings raised their brows at the hushed tone. "The bitch who attacked me, she looked exactly like me."

"What do you mean? Like a twin?"

"Yeah, like a bloody twin, Fee. Had the same face as me and Beth. S'all fucked up and we're trying to get to the bottom of it," she explained, feeling slightly guilty for the lie but knowing like Beth that it wasn't the time or place to be filling in her brother about clones.

"Christ," Felix blew out in shock. "So like, you two are actually triplets then, huh?"

"Looks that way," Beth cringed at the thought of ever being actually related to the fucking Ukrainian psychopath.

"Promise we'll keep you in the loop if anything else happens. Try not to worry about our shit too much, alright?" Sarah patted his hand comfortingly and stood up abruptly. "Now can we get out of here? I'm starvin' and been looking forward to seeing Kira all day."

"Let's go," Beth agreed and followed her sister to the door. Felix remained seated on the couch, looking sadly at his sisters.

Beth and Sarah both glanced at him impatiently, but softened when they noticed the emotion on his face.

"You two are lucky to know a blood relation. I wonder if I'll ever get to know my story."

"Oi!" Beth called out angrily. "Don't do that. You're as good as blood to both of us. Trust me, that fucking bitch will never be more of a relation to us than you are, Fee. The three of us are family – blood or no blood shared. We don't need any more story than that, yeah?"

"She's right, Fee," Sarah echoed. "We're kinda all each other's got, remember? We're each other's story, don't need no one else. Blood's never meant shit to us before, don't let it now."

He forced a smile onto his face and nodded at what they both said, knowing it was the truth. They loved each other to no end, never caring about whether or not they shared blood with each other. Sarah and Beth obviously did, but Felix never felt like he was any less related to them because of it. They had stuck together through thick and thin over the years and he realized it was silly to be getting weepy now all of a sudden. They had each accepted many years ago that all they needed in life was each other and that still remained true. To an extent, any discovery of family or more blood was unwanted by each of them, even more so for Sarah and Beth now that they had the added revelation of bloody clones running around.

"Now, if you've gotten over that nonsense can we please go?" Sarah said impatiently, her feet bobbing up and down in anticipation of seeing her daughter again. "I don't wanna get yelled at for being late, yeah?"

"Christ, yes let's gooooo," Beth exclaimed and ushered her brother and sister out of the loft. Felix locked the door behind him and the three musketeers hopped in the car, each excited at the prospect of a nice, normal family dinner. An anchoring event for them all in light of chaos springing to the surface of their lives.

* * *

><p>Beth sat on the couch of her foster mother's home contently. Thankfully they hadn't been late for dinner and successfully managed to avoid Mrs. S' wrath for the evening. She glanced at her watch and noticed it was starting to get late. Kira would be going to bed soon and she didn't want to be out roaming the streets at night with Helena on the loose.<p>

Siobhan seemed to take note of the time as well and cleared her throat. "I think it's bedtime Kira, love," she announced and smiled kindly at the little girl.

She glanced up from her position in Sarah's lap and nodded obediently, hopping to the ground. Kira had been practically glued to Sarah since the second she walked through the door earlier in the evening. It was clear to everyone that the mother and daughter had missed each other immensely. It didn't stop Beth and Felix from incessantly whining to their niece about not getting to spend any time with her through their night though.

The little girl turned to her mother when her feet hit the ground and smiled cutely. "Will you tuck me in, Mummy?"

Sarah smiled down at her daughter and stood from the couch. "Come on, Monkey," she replied as she picked up the young girl. Kira waved goodnight to her remaining family members, laying her head comfortably on Sarah's should as she was carried out of the room.

They made their first stop in the bathroom, Sarah standing guard behind her daughter as she brushed her teeth with expertise. They made their way to Kira's bedroom after that and Sarah helped the little girl change into her pajamas easily. She was struck by the simple task of getting her daughter ready for bed, having missed out on so many bedtimes in the last ten months. She was making sure to cherish every single moment of the menial task.

She watched Kira climb easily into her bed and helped secure the blankets all around her daughter. She smiled down at the sleepy girl once she was satisfied with her handiwork, running a single finger down the bridge of her nose like she had done since Kira's infancy.

Kira's eyes remained open and looking ponderingly up at her mother. "Is everything okay, Mummy?"

Sarah furrowed her brow at the question and knelt down so she was closer to her daughter. "Why do you ask that?"

"You're hurt," she replied softly and brought her hand up to stroke Sarah's cheek where the slight hint of cuts still resided.

Sarah closed her eyes and smiled reassuringly at her daughter. "I'm okay, Monkey. Don't worry about me, yeah?"

"But you and Auntie Beth look worried," she objected innocently.

"Everything's fine, Kira," Sarah responded strongly, trying inflect as much assurance as she could into her voice. "Me, Auntie Beth, and Uncle Felix are all okay so don't worry, okay?"

"Promise?" Kira asked, holding up her pinkie finger to her mother.

Sarah gazed at the outstretched digit for a moment before she locked her little finger around her daughter's even tinier one. She understood the sacredness of a pinkie promise from her own childhood and knew they were not to be trifled with. "I promise."

Kira seemed happy with the end of the conversation so Sarah tucked the blankets around her daughter one last time for good measure before standing again. She ran a loving hand through Kira's curls and dropped a light kiss on her forehead. "Night Monkey, sleep tight."

"Night Mummy," Kira murmured as her eyes fell shut.

Sarah stood watching her perfect daughter for a moment. She closed her eyes briefly and blew out a silent breath. She turned and left her daughter's bedroom, flipping the light off and leaving the door slight ajar. Beth was waiting at the bottom of the stairs for her, jacket already shrugged on and ready to go.

"Hey, you good to go?"

"Uh, I think I'm gonna stay here tonight," Sarah shrugged at the look of disbelief that flashed across her sister's face.

"You want to stay under Siobhan's roof?" Beth half laughed half scoffed, nearly falling over at the thought of Sarah volunteering herself to spend a night with Mrs S.

"Yeah. I wanna be close to Kira."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Beth disagreed lightly, hoping Sarah wouldn't react too harshly.

"Why? After the shit that's gone on this week, I just wanna be near my daughter for a night."

"I know," Beth nodded in understanding. "But the shit that's gone on this week is why you and I need to stick close together. If you stay here tonight then I have to too because I'm not bloody well going back home alone with a killer on the loose. Then S'll start asking questions we don't want to answer. Plus, I still have to fill you in on what happened today."

Sarah ran a frustrated hand through her unruly locks and nodded in understanding. "Yeah, alright, you're right."

She shrugged on her signature leather jacket and followed Beth back to the family room to say goodnight to their foster mother. Felix followed suit and the three siblings left their childhood home for the night. Sarah felt a hint of anxiety at the thought of parting from her daughter but knew like Beth had explained, it was for the best for the night. Being back only a few weeks now though and she couldn't even stand the thought of not seeing Kira for another few days, she didn't know or understand how she possibly could have gone the entire ten months that she did. Maybe this was finally the start of her shaping up to be the mother she was meant to be. It was too bad she had all kinds of other bullshit drama coming at her at the moment that was preventing her from actually appreciating or enjoying the strides she seemed to be making.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Sarah sat on a stool in her sister's kitchen, anxiously waiting for Beth to finish whatever the hell it was she was doing. Apparently Beth had decided it was finally time for her to be introduced to the rest of the clone contingent. Cosima's winter break was nearing its end and she'd be returning to school for the foreseeable future so Beth figured it was as good a time as any to make the introductions.

Sarah wasn't nervous, but she felt anxiety bubbling up in her stomach. The last weeks had been filled with so much unsureness and tip toeing that she just didn't know what to expect from anything at this point. All had been relatively quiet considering the level of drama that could possibly exist in their lives at the moment.

Beth had thrown herself completely into the hunt for answers over their existence. When she wasn't working, she was researching behind closed doors and trying to keep Paul from reading too much into her behaviour. Felix had become increasingly put out by their secrecy and always pestered them to find out what the hell was going on with his sisters. Siobhan had started to notice Beth's behaviour and Sarah's general trepidation over everything as well, asking on several occasions what was going on with them. As a result, Sarah had taken to splitting her living time between Felix's, Siobhan's, and Beth's. Her presence seemed to appease them each at least a little bit and keep everyone from asking too many questions. She put up with Mrs. S' casual disapprovals from time to time because it meant she was spending days at a time with Kira with practically no supervision. With Helena still out there somewhere, she felt best when she was with Kira and knew her daughter was 100% safe.

The front door swung open and Felix appeared in the entryway. Sarah nodded at him from her position at the kitchen table and he returned the gesture. Paul glanced back from his spot on the couch and threw a half-hearted wave, too invested in the football game he was watching to actually engage.

"Oi, oi," Felix greeted his sister softly as he took a seat next to her. "About ready to go then?"

"Just waitin' on Beth," Sarah grimaced.

She knew Beth was gonna be pissed when she walked out to see Felix waiting to go with them. She didn't really care at this point though. She didn't know what the fuck she was about to walk into and given Beth's tunnel vision focus as of late, Sarah really didn't know if she could trust her sister to have her back if shit went sideways tonight. At least with Felix going, she'd feel a little more secure and sure of herself. Plus, with him nagging them both every time he saw them about the secrets being kept, inviting him along would bring him completely into the loop. Selfishly, it gave Sarah one more person to lean on with all the drama since her only current support was way too consumed by the entire thing to offer any comfort anymore.

Beth appeared from her bedroom, in the midst of shrugging on her jacket. She immediately honed in on Felix's presence but kept her jaw clamped shut, mindful of Paul's nearby presence.

"Finally," Sarah muttered at her appearance and stood up, already having slipped her signature black boots on.

Beth rolled her eyes at the comment but didn't bother dignifying it with a response. She tossed out a disinterested goodbye to Paul and led her siblings silently out the door. Only when the door was safely closed behind them and they were on their way to the car did Beth turn accusingly to Sarah. "What the hell did you invite Felix for?"

"Hey!" Felix objected and Sarah placed a hand firmly on his arm to keep him from any further speaking.

"I wanted him to come," she explained simply. "Don't you trust him?"

Beth groaned and shook her head in exasperation. "Yes, I trust him. That doesn't mean I wanted him brought in on this though."

"He's our bloody brother, Beth. He deserves to know!"

"Christ," Beth muttered to herself as she slid into her car and slammed the door shut.

"Plus I kinda wanted someone to know where I was," Sarah pointed out, her unease over the impending meeting shining through.

Beth sighed but didn't further protest. She could understand her sister's anxiousness over the meeting and would have to accept Felix's tagging along if it meant Sarah felt more comfortable with the whole thing. At least, as comfortable as one could ever be meeting their own clones for the first time.

The drive was relatively silent, save for the low din of the radio playing bad pop songs. Each of the siblings was lost in their thoughts – thoughts which ironically focussed mainly on the other occupants of the vehicle.

The sound of Felix's loud, disgusted groan cut through the silence and had both his sisters turning around to look at him curiously. He took the opportunity to smack Sarah on the shoulder in annoyance. "Ugh, God! You know I never would've gotten in if you said we were going to suburbia."

Both women snorted in amusement at the statement. Sarah shrugged unapologetically and turned back around. Felix gasped when Beth began to pull over and slow the car down. "Don't stop, oh my God! Someone might speak to us. You know my skin just breaks out whenever I leave the downtown."

"Yeah, yeah," Sarah muttered and braced herself when the car halted, almost as though she were preparing for a physical attack once she stepped out of the car.

Felix had meanwhile procured a compact mirror and was examining his face. "Yep," he nodded in confirmation and acquired Sarah's attention again. "Right there, acne."

"I don't see acne," Sarah deadpanned, slightly amused by his behaviour despite the situation.

"Am I blushing? There's redness, right there!" he exclaimed dramatically, pointing animatedly at a speck on his cheek. "Tiny little suburban stress zits, emerging in direct proximity to bad architecture."

"Chill, Felix," Beth grunted. "When we get back to the city I'll buy you whatever acne cream you need to recover from the trauma, yeah? Now wait in the car, we'll be back in a bit."

"Wait in the car?" he repeated in shock. "What the bloody hell am I supposed to do in here?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "Ask Sarah why the hell she invited you to tag along."

"Christ, I don't know! For back-up, alright?"

"Back-up? I don't do back-up! I don't even know what back-up means! Who the hell is in that house that you need bloody back-up?"

"That's what I'm tryin' to figure out," Sarah tried to explain calmly.

"You don't know? Christ, Sarah!" he turned his attack to Beth next. "Tell me you at least know who's in that house?"

"Yeah, I do. Now can you calm down?" she exhaled sharply. "Give us twenty minutes, alright? Then we'll go back to the city and drink ourselves stupid. Sound good?"

"Fine," he sat back, crossing his arms protectively.

"Alright, let's go then," Beth said and Sarah followed her lead in exiting the car.

She shook her hands to rid her stomach of the anxiety and took a deep breath as she rounded the car. Beth sidled up next to her easily and tried to muster up a comforting smile. "Just let me do the talking, alright?"

"Yeah, whatever," Sarah agreed and followed her sister through the gate to Alison's backyard. She squinted when the security lights came flashing on and promptly shielded her eyes. "Holy shite."

Beth laughed in agreement. "I know. You never get bloody used to those things."

She knocked softly on the back door and only seconds later it was swinging open. Beth had positioned herself in such a way that Sarah's full figure behind her was blocked from view. Alison smiled at Beth when they made eye contact and stepped aside to allow her into the home. Beth noticed Cosima already punctually seated on the couch. She stepped across the threshold as Alison made her way back over to the couch and ushered Sarah in behind her quietly. She noticed Cosima's brow raise curiously and knew she had spotted Sarah entering.

Alison turned back around and jumped at the sight of the fourth, unfamiliar person. "Oh!"

"Yeah, hope you don't mind I brought along someone new this time," Beth shrugged and flashed them a charming smile.

Sarah glanced at her sister with a mixture of worry and impress. It seemed like all of a sudden in front of their audience, Beth had flipped a switch and adopted a persona of confidence and self-assurance. It was not unlike the Beth she had known practically all her life. What worried her was the fact that_ that_ Beth had completely disappeared as of late – so withdrawn and focused on working or researching their cloneage. She knew this woman she was portraying now was all an act, just a temporary put on so as to keep these people from asking too many questions of her well-being. Sarah knew her better than they did and a small part of her took pride in the fact that Beth obviously didn't feel like she had to pretend in front of her.

"Of course," Alison chirped wearily but smiled despite it. "Come in, sit."

Beth spared a glance at Sarah and noticed her sister looking strangely at her and tried to silently question it, knowing they weren't in a place where she could verbalize any such questions. The sisters sat on a couch across from their clones and Sarah found herself staring at the women across from her in complete shock despite having known exactly what she was walking into.

Cosima was staring wide eyed at Sarah with a large smile. Alison was fiddling uncomfortably with her hands in her lap. Beth cleared her throat to break the awkwardness. "Uh, Cosima, Alison, this is Sarah."

"Nice to meet you," Cosima grinned. Alison tossed her a curt smile and continued fiddling. "So I guess Beth's filled you in on everything?"

Sarah looked at Beth, figuring out if she was being given permission to speak for herself now. When her sister nodded in approval she sat back just a little more in the couch and nodded at Cosima's question. "Yeah, she gave me the basics."

"Oh wow, you're English?" Cosima immediately observed the accent. "How'd you find her Beth? I thought Katja was in contact with all the Europeans."

Beth grimaced, knowing the information she was about to reveal may not sit well with either of the women across from her. "Yeah, as far as we know she was. Sarah's lived in Canada since we were twelve."

"I'm sorry," Alison interrupted, holding her hand up to halt the conversation. "I thought you said you ran software months ago and Cosima and I were the only ones that turned up in your police database. How did you find this one?"

Sarah inwardly rolled her eyes at the woman's clear disdain for her when using the words _this one_. She'd said all of a few words and this bloody soccer mum had already judged her. Typical.

"Yeah, I used the databases to find you two but I didn't need to do that with Sarah because I already knew her," Beth tried to explain calmly although feeling irritatation bubbling up at the contemptuous looks Alison kept trying to discretely throw at Sarah.

"What do you mean you already knew her?" Cosima interjected for Alison.

"So you've been lying to us for the last six months then? Just blatantly keeping another person from both of us?" Alison continued despite Cosima's question.

"She didn't keep me from you guys," Sarah tried to smooth over. "I skipped town. Beth didn't even know if I was bloody alive when all this shit started going down."

"I don't think I was speaking to you," Alison shook her head to herself. "I don't want any explanations from someone like you."

"Hey!" Beth growled harshly. "Don't speak to her like that, yeah? You don't fucking know anything about her and you're passing judgements like you're better than her."

Alison looked in silent shock at Beth over the reprimand and sat back against her couch angrily. Cosima was sitting more forward than ever looking curiously between Sarah and Beth. "Okay so how do you know each other exactly? You seem close."

"We grew up together," Beth shrugged. "Our foster mother adopted us both back in England and brought us here when we were kids. We grew up as sisters."

Cosima exhaled loudly and looked wide eyed at both of them. "Dude, that's complex."

"Yeah well, now that that's explained can we get to why we're actually meeting," Beth sighed. She rolled her eyes slightly when Alison stood abruptly and returned minutes later with a full glass of wine for herself.

"Right," Cosima agreed with an emphatic nod. "Well you called the meeting, so what's up?"

Beth ran a tired hand through her hair. "We have a couple problems."

"Problems?" Alison asked with a raised brow, her voice going a pitch higher at the mere idea of a problem.

"Yeah. The first is that I found out a little bit more about who killed Katja and the others."

Sarah visibly stiffened next to her sister and Beth nearly laughed. She didn't think it was possible for Sarah to be more rigid and uncomfortable looking than before but she had been wrong obviously. Cosima clearly noticed the reaction as well and her face showed that her interested was definitely piqued.

"She attacked Sarah the night we had our last meeting. The killer's bloody one of us."

Alison snorted unpleasantly. "Says her," she spoke contemptuously and pointed at Sarah. "How do we know if we can even trust a word that comes out of her mouth?"

"Enough, Alison! Sarah's my sister and I trust her with my fucking life. If you have a problem with her being included in this then why don't you just say so? Otherwise, I don't wanna hear one more underhanded comment about her, got it?"

Alison sat with her eyes narrowed at Sarah for a moment. She took a long gulp from her wine glass and sat back again. She waved her hand to signal for the conversation to carry on as though nothing had happened.

"Anyway, Sarah was attacked and then a few days later this bitch was calling me at work. Her name's Helena, Ukranian, and basically a religious freak that's been brainwashed into thinking she's the original one of us and we're all abominations of creation or some shit."

"Shit," Cosima muttered. "At least you're alright, Sarah."

Sarah grunted in agreement and offered an indifferent shrug. It was clear she didn't exactly want to be there anymore, or even to begin with.

"Yeah, that's the main thing. I've been trying to track her down ever since but nothing's come up. Bitch is crazy as all hell though so just keep an eye out, God only knows where she's gotten to."

As she sat with the second piece of information running through her mind, she contemplated whether it was a good idea to reveal it. She hadn't even told Sarah about it yet since she hadn't gotten a minute alone with her all day. Sarah would no doubt flip her lid either now or later, it wouldn't really make a difference over when she made the big reveal. Cosima would take everything in stride regardless so that would be fine. Alison may be a problem. She was already off kilter tonight with Sarah's added presence and Beth had a feeling the wine drinking began much earlier than several minutes ago. She sighed inwardly and decided she needed to be out with the news. She could keep certain information to herself or between her and Sarah, but some things Alison and Cosima deserved to know about too and a lot of it was all about delivering it at an appropriate time. She pulled the small object from her pocket and held it up for them all to see.

"The other thing is that I woke up this morning and spit this out."

Cosima was examining it closely and after several seconds resumed eye contact with Beth. "That's an electrode. It's used with electroencephalograms to monitor brain activity and stuff."

"Yeah, I know. All day I've been getting like weird visions or something of these people examining me in my sleep and I think it all actually happened last night."

Sarah's neck snapped to the side so quickly Beth was sure she had given herself whiplash. "You're bloody joking."

"Wish I was," Beth grimaced. "But then I got to thinking that the only way they could've done testing on me was if someone gave them access to me, right?"

"Paul," Cosima filled in. "I mean it would make sense. We're like an experiment, right? If it were my experiment I'd want someone close by to monitor it, make sure everything went accordingly."

"So you're saying we all have people in our lives who are watching us and reporting back to whoever is in charge of this whole thing?" Alison reiterated angrily.

"I think so, it sure looks that way," she nodded grimly. "We shouldn't jump to conclusions about anyone, just be on the lookout for it."

"It means we need to be really careful with our contact with each other," Cosima added. When the other women looked at her, prodding for her to continue she cleared her throat slightly. "Well uh, there's a chance that you know if they find out we're suddenly self-aware one of two things could happen."

"Which are…?" Beth trailed off, curious as to what the scientist was thinking.

"It would either be like, a Eureka moment, or a cue to terminate so…"

"As in kill us off?" Alison asked in alarm. "So now we have two people trying to kill us?"

"Yeah, so let's just all be careful, okay?"

Out of the corner of everyone's eye, the security lights outside flicked on and the room brightened slightly. Alison stiffened for only a half second before she was placing her glass gently on the coffee table and pulling a drawer on it open harshly. She grabbed a gun out of it quickly and was stampeding out the door before any of them could do anything.

Beth glanced at her watch and muttered a swear under her breath. Sarah glanced at her in annoyance, only wanting to get as far away from suburbia as she could. Seeing Beth stand nearly as quickly as Alison did and walk out of the house had her alarmed though. She followed after her sister without hesitation.

She walked onto Alison's patio to see the uptight woman holding a gun up, aimed at her foster brother. Beth was standing between the two with her hands up, coolly trying to calm Alison down enough for her to lower the weapon. Sarah felt rage coursing through her at the sight of the absolute terror on Felix's face as he looked into the eyes of a clone with a gun pointed at him.

Beth seemed to have successfully reasoned with Alison to drop the gun. She couldn't really be sure though since all sound had seemed to disappear in that moment. As Beth took a step back to make sure Felix was alright, Sarah marched forward and swung her fist back without a second thought, slamming it into the side of Alison's face.

"You point a gun at my brother again, I will kick the living shite out of you," she growled angrily, feeling slightly satisfied at the wounded look Alison sported while clutching her face. She turned to Beth raging still. "Let's get the hell out of here."

"Yeah, just a sec," she agreed and began moving to the house again to retrieve her belongings.

Cosima appeared in the doorway before she got very far and smiled easily at Beth and Sarah. She handed Beth's phone to her. "Think I could hitch a ride back to my hotel?"

Beth shrugged and nodded an okay. She threw her arm around Felix's shoulder and shoved him playfully. "Come on, dipshit. Now you'll get the whoooole explanation, yeah?"

"Bloody Christ," he muttered still in shock and spared a sideways glance as they all made their way back to Beth's car. Alison seemed to have retreated back to the safety of her home, far from Sarah's aching fist.

"My thoughts exactly, Fee," Sarah agreed with a chuckle, finally feeling at ease now that she was out of that goddamn house. "Soccermum's a bloody bitch."

"Can't argue there," Felix muttered, still obviously shaken at having a gun pointed at him. "You knocked her down a few good pegs though."

"Hey," Beth chastised. "I know she wasn't exactly welcoming to either of you, but go easy on her. This shit flipped her entire life upside down."

"And it didn't ours?" Sarah contested defiantly.

"Just go easy on the punching from now on, alright?"

Sarah laughed as she slid into the backseat next to Felix. She opted to give Cosima shotgun in favour of getting to be close to her brother for the ride home or to whatever bar they'd surely visit now.

Cosima turned around in her seat and threw a kind smile at Felix. "Hey, I'm Cosima by the way."

"Right," Felix nodded. "Someone wanna get to explaining this – like right now?"

"Talk and drive, Elizabeth," Sarah commanded, propping her boot cladden feet on the center console in front of her.

The entire bloody meeting had had her on edge and she hated it. She hated Alison, although Cosima actually seemed pretty cool. She was glad as hell to be out that house and getting far away from the suburbs. She needed a strong drink stat. She needed to spend a fun night out with her brother and sister and that was exactly what she was gonna do. They all needed it more than ever right now. No matter what kind of bullshit they were having thrown at them, the three of them would stick together and remain a united front.


End file.
